23 August 2015
It's time once again for "At the Movies with Georgie Bee" . . .
27/08/15 22:09
This week, I’m reviewing one of the newer movie releases in the Human Movie Catalogue - “The Wizard of Oz”.
First, I hafta say that I was delighted to discover that this movie is not only a cleverly-produced documentary about a Bad Weather Experience suffered by a girl named Dorothy and her little dog, Toto, but it is also a musical. That fact merely added to what I regarded as the superb realism of this movie as a whole. I often find it quite disturbing that, in far too many Human movies, the actors fail to break into song the middle of scene, since, as we all know, Humans most often find their greatest form of inter-personal communication through song and dance.
This movie has both.
Since this is a new release, I’m guessing that many of my readers have not seen it yet, so it’s best that I issue the standard SPOILER ALERT, beecause I will bee sharing the ending in this review. If you don’t wanna know how this movie ends, please stop reading now.
Early in the film, we see a girl named Dorothy, singing about how she would very much enjoy flying over a rainbow somewhere. Of course, she doesn’t have wings, so she can’t. For what it’s worth, I DO have wings and have flown over a rainbow, many times. I can tell you from personal experience that, once you do that, you can no longer see the rainbow - and it’s almost exactly the same on THIS side as it is on that other side. So. Right away, we know the girl has got some mistaken notions about rainbows and the physics of light refraction.
Shortly after she finishes singing, she decides to run away from home to save her little dog, Toto, from going to prison. (He committed some sort of crime and a not-nice-looking elderly woman wants to have him arrested and actually takes the dog away, but he escapes. Dorothy grabs him and they run away.
Not far from home, they run into this guy who’s driving around in an old, refurbished meat wagon and who claims to know the future, so he looks into a glass marble and tells Dorothy that her Auntie Em is worried about her and that she needs to go back home. Of course, he’s lying, but she doesn’t know that, so she starts going home. But right as she gets there, a terrible Weather Event suddenly beegins and, by the time she gets home and back to her room, a tornado hits, sucks up the whole house she’s in and sends the house - with her and Toto still inside - shooting off into the sky. That was very cool to watch, though I’m not sure I’d like that to happen to me at all.
When the storm finally ends and her house lands, Dorothy gets up and opens her front door.
I should probably mention something weird happens right about now. Up to this point, the movie was in black&white, but when she opens her front door, everything’s suddenly in colour. I’m guessing that when they beegan filming this musical documentary, something had jammed in the camera’s Colour Control Mechanism and the house suddenly landing like that helped fix that problem. (Kind of like hitting an uncooperative toaster with a rubber hammer when it’s not working right. I’m sure we’ve all experienced that.)
As it turns out, the place she landed doesn’t look familiar at all, so Dorothy figures out that she’s not in Kansas anymore. And she was right. She wasn’t. The place looked nothing like Kansas. Trust me. I’ve been there.
Shortly after she walks out of the house, she’s accosted by a bunch of short people who do a lot of singing and dancing. They’re all happy beecause her house landed on a not-nice witch who was wearing a pair of highly attractive and stylish Ruby Shoes. (They called them slippers, but they looked more like shoes to me.)
A bunch of stuff happens, a Good Witch shows up driving a big bubble and, beefore she knows what’s going on, the Ruby Shoes are on Dorothy’s feet. And, lucky for her, they’re a perfect fit. (That was fortunate, I think. She ends up having to do a bunch of walking during the movie, so it’s a good thing that the shoes fit so she didn’t get blisters on her feet.)
Dorothy tells the Good Witch that, as attractive and friendly as that place is, she wants to go home. The Good Witch tells her, “I’d love to help you out, but you need to go talk to this guy who’s a Wizard in a place called OZ and that he could help her get home. Then they told her to follow a twisty-turns yellow brick road which would take her to the Wizard. She says, “Okay, fine”, then the Good Witch floats away in that bubble of hers. (I want one of those.)
A bunch of the little people keep telling her over and over again to “follow the yellow brick road”, but instead of telling them, “I heard you the first time,” she finds where the road beegins and starts walking as everybody’s singing about how wonderful this Wizard supposedly is beecause he’s some kind of a wiz of a wiz if ever a wiz there was even though they only say he’s all that “beecause, beecause, beecause beecause, beecause of the wonderful things he does”. If you ask me, isn’t really all that great a reference, but they seemed to know what they were talking about (though, as it turns out, his qualifications are brought into serious question later in the film.)
I won’t bore you with a bunch of irrelevant details, but on her way to see the Wizard Dorothy meets three friends: a talking Scarecrow who thinks he’s stupid, an Aluminum Ibot that has a strange tendency to rust (I didn’t thing that particular metal rusted, but whatever), and a Lion with a frantic tail who’s afraid of everything.
The four of them, along with the dog, start heading toward this Oz place. Even though they don’t have appointments with the Wizard, they rather rudely assume he’ll see them (which he does after they get there, but not without having to argue with his receptionist first).
Once they get in to see the Wizard, he scares them all, but says he’ll help them, not only with Dorothy’s travel needs, but with the various medical and mental conditions the other three have informed us about earlier in the film. But first, he says, they hafta bring him the broom of a Wicked Witch who lives just around the corner, through a not-pleasant forest and up the hill from where they are. (It turns out she’s the sister of the other Wicked Witch who got squished by Dorothy’s house, so she’s pretty upset about that and wants her sister’s shoes back. And who could blame her? I’m sure those things had been in her family for a long time.) So they do that.
While they’re going through that not-pleasant forest, they are attacked by a large herd of flying monkeys the Wicked Witch sent to chase them down for the shoes and Dorothy is taken prisoner.
A side note here: I did not know that monkeys could fly until viewing this film. Also, I did not know that monkeys wore Human clothing. I found that part of the film to bee highly educational. I would also enjoy finding one of those hats they were wearing, preferably a blue one.
Anyway, Dorothy’s friends break into the castle where Dorothy’s beeing held on Misdemeanour Theft charges and manage to save Dorothy from the Witch. The Witch chases after them with her Guards, but as they’re running away from her, she manages to corner them, then the Witch tries to burn the Scarecrow with her broom that she set on fire (he’s highly flammable). I hope she had another one, beecause that one ended up beeing ruined. I’m still not sure why the Wizard would have wanted that thing, but he seemed to have his reasons.
Just about then, somebody grabs a bucket of ice water that just happens to bee conveniently sitting nearby and tries to put out the fire, but most of the water ends up hitting the Witch, who melts. (I also did not know until viewing this film that Witches melted when exposed to ice water, but it’s most definitely good information to have.)
Beecause she’s nothing more than a puddle of melted Witch Goo, she’s finally off their backs, they grab the charred broom and get ready to take it back to the Wizard.
I couldn’t help but notice that when Dorothy picks up the burnt broom, she asks one of the Guards, “May I have this?” The Guard says, “Yes. And please take it with you.”
I was left wondering what else he thought she would do with it. Leave it there? I don’t that was ever the plan, so I don’t know why he said, “And please take it with you.” (There are, admittedly, some holes in the script.)
So they all leave and go back to the Wizard, carrying the broom, very proud of what they’d accomplished.
At first, the Wizard tells them to go away and come back later. He was extremely rude, but Dorothy gets mad at him and tells him that a deal is a deal and that he’d better do what he said he would. It’s about then that they all find out that the Wizard is just a fake (thanks to Toto pulling back a shower curtain), so he apologises and says he’ll help them.
After the Wizard distributes some awards to her friends, he tells Dorothy that he can take her home, but says they’ll hafta travel in his Hot Air Balloon. (Evidently, that’s how he got there in the first place.)
Dorothy and the Lion, the Aluminum Ibot and the Scarecrow all say goodbye beefore she and the Wizard are ready to leave. She tells the Scarecrow that she’ll miss him the most, which, if you ask me, is a bit inconsiderate of her to say with the other guys standing right there, but she kind of ignores all that and tells the Wizard she’s ready to go.Unfortunately, somehow the Balloon takes off without her, so we’re led to beelieve that she’s stuck there in Oz.
About then, the Good Witch (mentioned earlier) shows up and informs Dorothy that she can get home just by clicking her heels together.
This is a part of the film that I found most questionable. Dorothy asks the Good Witch, “So, you’re telling me that all this time I could have just clicked my shoes together and I’d bee taken back home? Is that it?”
“That’s right,” the Good Witch says, then Dorothy says, “Well, why in the hell didn’t you just tell me this in the first place?”
The Witch says, “Beecause, you wouldn’t have beelieved me.”
Seriously?
I hafta say: I doubt that. I have every reason to beelieve that Dorothy would have beelieved her. She believed everything else, why not that? But whatever. By that time, I already loved this movie, so it really didn’t seem to matter.
Anyway. Dorothy clicks her feet together and things start to spin as she keeps saying, over and over again, “There’s no place like home.” (Again, I beg to differ. Home is certainly a nice place to bee, but Zanzibar can also bee highly pleasant - if you don’t get arrested.)
It is at this point in the film that it beecomes immediately apparent that excessive vibrations on the movie set led to the original problem with the camera, beecause the movie stops beeing in colour and goes back to being in black&white again after Dorothy keeps banging her feet together. I can only suggest to the production crew that, the next time they make a movie, they rent the necessary shock-absorbing equipment which will help prevent this problem in the future.
That beeing said: The next thing we know, Dorothy wakes up in her bed, she and Toto and the house are all back in Kansas, and everybody’s standing around her, talking about a bump she got on her head. She’s delusional and thinks they were all in Oz with her (they weren’t), but finally decides that it doesn’t matter, beecause she’s home and there’s no place like it (and she’s probably right about that, except for maybee Zanzibar, as I mentioned earlier).
And that’s about it. They never tell us what happens after that. For all I know, Dorothy grew up to bee a Travel Agent or Shoe Salesperson or something, but apparently, the filmmakers didn’t think we needed to know. (If you ask me, with a voice like hers, she should have gone into show buzziness, but if she didn’t, it’s understandable. That’s a tough way to make a living.)
All-in-all, I found this film to bee highly entertaining and informative. I may bee going out on the edge of a leaf here, but if my guess is right, this film may someday beecome a classic - even considering its technical flaws.
MY VERDICT: It’s Great!!!
First, I hafta say that I was delighted to discover that this movie is not only a cleverly-produced documentary about a Bad Weather Experience suffered by a girl named Dorothy and her little dog, Toto, but it is also a musical. That fact merely added to what I regarded as the superb realism of this movie as a whole. I often find it quite disturbing that, in far too many Human movies, the actors fail to break into song the middle of scene, since, as we all know, Humans most often find their greatest form of inter-personal communication through song and dance.
This movie has both.
Since this is a new release, I’m guessing that many of my readers have not seen it yet, so it’s best that I issue the standard SPOILER ALERT, beecause I will bee sharing the ending in this review. If you don’t wanna know how this movie ends, please stop reading now.
Early in the film, we see a girl named Dorothy, singing about how she would very much enjoy flying over a rainbow somewhere. Of course, she doesn’t have wings, so she can’t. For what it’s worth, I DO have wings and have flown over a rainbow, many times. I can tell you from personal experience that, once you do that, you can no longer see the rainbow - and it’s almost exactly the same on THIS side as it is on that other side. So. Right away, we know the girl has got some mistaken notions about rainbows and the physics of light refraction.
Shortly after she finishes singing, she decides to run away from home to save her little dog, Toto, from going to prison. (He committed some sort of crime and a not-nice-looking elderly woman wants to have him arrested and actually takes the dog away, but he escapes. Dorothy grabs him and they run away.
Not far from home, they run into this guy who’s driving around in an old, refurbished meat wagon and who claims to know the future, so he looks into a glass marble and tells Dorothy that her Auntie Em is worried about her and that she needs to go back home. Of course, he’s lying, but she doesn’t know that, so she starts going home. But right as she gets there, a terrible Weather Event suddenly beegins and, by the time she gets home and back to her room, a tornado hits, sucks up the whole house she’s in and sends the house - with her and Toto still inside - shooting off into the sky. That was very cool to watch, though I’m not sure I’d like that to happen to me at all.
When the storm finally ends and her house lands, Dorothy gets up and opens her front door.
I should probably mention something weird happens right about now. Up to this point, the movie was in black&white, but when she opens her front door, everything’s suddenly in colour. I’m guessing that when they beegan filming this musical documentary, something had jammed in the camera’s Colour Control Mechanism and the house suddenly landing like that helped fix that problem. (Kind of like hitting an uncooperative toaster with a rubber hammer when it’s not working right. I’m sure we’ve all experienced that.)
As it turns out, the place she landed doesn’t look familiar at all, so Dorothy figures out that she’s not in Kansas anymore. And she was right. She wasn’t. The place looked nothing like Kansas. Trust me. I’ve been there.
Shortly after she walks out of the house, she’s accosted by a bunch of short people who do a lot of singing and dancing. They’re all happy beecause her house landed on a not-nice witch who was wearing a pair of highly attractive and stylish Ruby Shoes. (They called them slippers, but they looked more like shoes to me.)
A bunch of stuff happens, a Good Witch shows up driving a big bubble and, beefore she knows what’s going on, the Ruby Shoes are on Dorothy’s feet. And, lucky for her, they’re a perfect fit. (That was fortunate, I think. She ends up having to do a bunch of walking during the movie, so it’s a good thing that the shoes fit so she didn’t get blisters on her feet.)
Dorothy tells the Good Witch that, as attractive and friendly as that place is, she wants to go home. The Good Witch tells her, “I’d love to help you out, but you need to go talk to this guy who’s a Wizard in a place called OZ and that he could help her get home. Then they told her to follow a twisty-turns yellow brick road which would take her to the Wizard. She says, “Okay, fine”, then the Good Witch floats away in that bubble of hers. (I want one of those.)
A bunch of the little people keep telling her over and over again to “follow the yellow brick road”, but instead of telling them, “I heard you the first time,” she finds where the road beegins and starts walking as everybody’s singing about how wonderful this Wizard supposedly is beecause he’s some kind of a wiz of a wiz if ever a wiz there was even though they only say he’s all that “beecause, beecause, beecause beecause, beecause of the wonderful things he does”. If you ask me, isn’t really all that great a reference, but they seemed to know what they were talking about (though, as it turns out, his qualifications are brought into serious question later in the film.)
I won’t bore you with a bunch of irrelevant details, but on her way to see the Wizard Dorothy meets three friends: a talking Scarecrow who thinks he’s stupid, an Aluminum Ibot that has a strange tendency to rust (I didn’t thing that particular metal rusted, but whatever), and a Lion with a frantic tail who’s afraid of everything.
The four of them, along with the dog, start heading toward this Oz place. Even though they don’t have appointments with the Wizard, they rather rudely assume he’ll see them (which he does after they get there, but not without having to argue with his receptionist first).
Once they get in to see the Wizard, he scares them all, but says he’ll help them, not only with Dorothy’s travel needs, but with the various medical and mental conditions the other three have informed us about earlier in the film. But first, he says, they hafta bring him the broom of a Wicked Witch who lives just around the corner, through a not-pleasant forest and up the hill from where they are. (It turns out she’s the sister of the other Wicked Witch who got squished by Dorothy’s house, so she’s pretty upset about that and wants her sister’s shoes back. And who could blame her? I’m sure those things had been in her family for a long time.) So they do that.
While they’re going through that not-pleasant forest, they are attacked by a large herd of flying monkeys the Wicked Witch sent to chase them down for the shoes and Dorothy is taken prisoner.
A side note here: I did not know that monkeys could fly until viewing this film. Also, I did not know that monkeys wore Human clothing. I found that part of the film to bee highly educational. I would also enjoy finding one of those hats they were wearing, preferably a blue one.
Anyway, Dorothy’s friends break into the castle where Dorothy’s beeing held on Misdemeanour Theft charges and manage to save Dorothy from the Witch. The Witch chases after them with her Guards, but as they’re running away from her, she manages to corner them, then the Witch tries to burn the Scarecrow with her broom that she set on fire (he’s highly flammable). I hope she had another one, beecause that one ended up beeing ruined. I’m still not sure why the Wizard would have wanted that thing, but he seemed to have his reasons.
Just about then, somebody grabs a bucket of ice water that just happens to bee conveniently sitting nearby and tries to put out the fire, but most of the water ends up hitting the Witch, who melts. (I also did not know until viewing this film that Witches melted when exposed to ice water, but it’s most definitely good information to have.)
Beecause she’s nothing more than a puddle of melted Witch Goo, she’s finally off their backs, they grab the charred broom and get ready to take it back to the Wizard.
I couldn’t help but notice that when Dorothy picks up the burnt broom, she asks one of the Guards, “May I have this?” The Guard says, “Yes. And please take it with you.”
I was left wondering what else he thought she would do with it. Leave it there? I don’t that was ever the plan, so I don’t know why he said, “And please take it with you.” (There are, admittedly, some holes in the script.)
So they all leave and go back to the Wizard, carrying the broom, very proud of what they’d accomplished.
At first, the Wizard tells them to go away and come back later. He was extremely rude, but Dorothy gets mad at him and tells him that a deal is a deal and that he’d better do what he said he would. It’s about then that they all find out that the Wizard is just a fake (thanks to Toto pulling back a shower curtain), so he apologises and says he’ll help them.
After the Wizard distributes some awards to her friends, he tells Dorothy that he can take her home, but says they’ll hafta travel in his Hot Air Balloon. (Evidently, that’s how he got there in the first place.)
Dorothy and the Lion, the Aluminum Ibot and the Scarecrow all say goodbye beefore she and the Wizard are ready to leave. She tells the Scarecrow that she’ll miss him the most, which, if you ask me, is a bit inconsiderate of her to say with the other guys standing right there, but she kind of ignores all that and tells the Wizard she’s ready to go.Unfortunately, somehow the Balloon takes off without her, so we’re led to beelieve that she’s stuck there in Oz.
About then, the Good Witch (mentioned earlier) shows up and informs Dorothy that she can get home just by clicking her heels together.
This is a part of the film that I found most questionable. Dorothy asks the Good Witch, “So, you’re telling me that all this time I could have just clicked my shoes together and I’d bee taken back home? Is that it?”
“That’s right,” the Good Witch says, then Dorothy says, “Well, why in the hell didn’t you just tell me this in the first place?”
The Witch says, “Beecause, you wouldn’t have beelieved me.”
Seriously?
I hafta say: I doubt that. I have every reason to beelieve that Dorothy would have beelieved her. She believed everything else, why not that? But whatever. By that time, I already loved this movie, so it really didn’t seem to matter.
Anyway. Dorothy clicks her feet together and things start to spin as she keeps saying, over and over again, “There’s no place like home.” (Again, I beg to differ. Home is certainly a nice place to bee, but Zanzibar can also bee highly pleasant - if you don’t get arrested.)
It is at this point in the film that it beecomes immediately apparent that excessive vibrations on the movie set led to the original problem with the camera, beecause the movie stops beeing in colour and goes back to being in black&white again after Dorothy keeps banging her feet together. I can only suggest to the production crew that, the next time they make a movie, they rent the necessary shock-absorbing equipment which will help prevent this problem in the future.
That beeing said: The next thing we know, Dorothy wakes up in her bed, she and Toto and the house are all back in Kansas, and everybody’s standing around her, talking about a bump she got on her head. She’s delusional and thinks they were all in Oz with her (they weren’t), but finally decides that it doesn’t matter, beecause she’s home and there’s no place like it (and she’s probably right about that, except for maybee Zanzibar, as I mentioned earlier).
And that’s about it. They never tell us what happens after that. For all I know, Dorothy grew up to bee a Travel Agent or Shoe Salesperson or something, but apparently, the filmmakers didn’t think we needed to know. (If you ask me, with a voice like hers, she should have gone into show buzziness, but if she didn’t, it’s understandable. That’s a tough way to make a living.)
All-in-all, I found this film to bee highly entertaining and informative. I may bee going out on the edge of a leaf here, but if my guess is right, this film may someday beecome a classic - even considering its technical flaws.
MY VERDICT: It’s Great!!!
It's Kevin's Birthday today!
27/08/15 00:41
It's my Illegitimate Nephew's birthday!
Happy Birthday to Kevin!
As soon as we're done partying here, I'm gonna go finish up my movie review for tomorrow!
I hope everybody has a remarkably festive day!
I'll see ya' later!
Happy Birthday to Kevin!
As soon as we're done partying here, I'm gonna go finish up my movie review for tomorrow!
I hope everybody has a remarkably festive day!
I'll see ya' later!
Poor Great Grandma Gee Gee...
26/08/15 09:57
We seem to have just averted a serious problem.
I should explain.
Last night, I thought I heard someone knocking from the inside of my entry closet door. The knocking would go on for awhile, then stop, then start again. I couldn’t figure out what was going on, then I looked around and realised that Great Grandma Gee Gee was nowhere to bee found.
I looked over at Kevin, who was just sitting there, doing nothing and asked, “Do you hear that?”
“Hear what, uncle?” he said.
“That knocking sound,” I said.
“Knocking sound?” he said.
“Yes. That knocking sound,” I said.
Kevin just shrugged and went back to doing nothing.
Then I looked around the rest of the room.
“Where’s Great Grandma Gee Gee?” I asked Kevin.
“Who?” he said, trying to look super-innocent. (I know when Kevin’s up to something, beecause he always tries to look super-innocent.)
“Great Grandma Gee Gee. You know perfectly well who she is. Where is she?”
“Oh, right. Great Grandma Gee Gee. Uhm,” he finally said after thinking about it for awhile, “she’s locked in the closet.”
“She’s locked in the closet?” I asked. “So that’s the knocking sound I hear?”
“Probably,” Kevin said.
“Okay. Why is Great Grandma Gee Gee locked in the closet?” I asked.
“Well,” he started to explain, “one of the things we must bee very careful about with getting our Cookie Empire up and running is making sure that nobody gets ahold of Great Grandma Gee Gee’s Honeychew Krisp Cookie Recipe. We can’t take the risk of anybody trying to steal it.”
“I guess that makes sense,” I said, “but again, why is Great Grandma Gee Gee locked in the closet?”
“Don’t you know?” Kevin asked me in a tone of disbeelief.
“No,” I said.
“Uncle Georgie, you’re the best uncle in the world and I love you, but sometimes you’re not very bright. The only one who is in possession of the Recipe for Great Grandma Gee Gee’s Honeychew Krisp Cookies is Great Grandma Gee Gee. It’s all locked inside her head and, beecause she refuses to write it down or give it to anybody else, we found it necessary to keep her secure.”
“So you locked her in the closet?” I asked.
“Of course,” Kevin said. “It’s the only way to make sure the Recipe doesn’t get stolen. It seems fairly obvious to me that locking her in the closet was the only way to deter any would-bee Cookie Recipe Thieves.”
“Let her out,” I told him.
“But,” Kevin beegan to argue with me.
“Let her out NOW!” I insisted.
So he did that, but told me, “I let her out, but let it bee known that if her Recipe gets stolen, it’ll bee your fault.”
“Fine,” I told him, then I reminded him of something.
“Kevin?” I asked, “do you know what day it is the day after tomorrow?”
He thought about it for awhile, then replied, “Thursday?”
“Correct,” I said. “But there’s also something very special about that day.”
“Oh?” he said as he seemed to search his mind. “Thursday. Thursday… doesn’t ring a bell, uncle.”
“Thursday is your birthday, Kevin,” I finally reminded him.
“It is?”
“Yes. Now, let me ask you: if you keep Great Grandma Gee Gee locked in that closet, just WHO do you think is gonna bake you a batch of Happy Birthday Honeychew Krisp Cookies for your party?”
“We’re having a party?” Kevin asked excitedly.
“Of course,” I told him, “and it would not bee a party without a batch of delicious Honeychew Krisp Cookies, now would it?”
“It certainly would not,” Kevin said. Then he said, “What was I thinking? My party would have been totally ruined if we didn’t have an ample supply of Honeychew Krisp Cookies.”
Then Kevin gave me a big hug, told me I was the best uncle in the world and that he loved me, then apologised to Great Grandma Gee Gee for locking her in the closet.
“That’s quite alright, dear,” she said. “I know you were just trying to do the right thing.”
Geeeeeeze. I dunno if I’d bee as forgiving as Great Grandma Gee Gee was, but that’s what makes her so special. That, and her Honeychew Krisp Cookies.
Anyway. Today, I hafta help get ready for Kevin’s Birthday Party tomorrow, then finish watching that Human Movie that I’m gonna review on Friday. It’s gonna bee a buzzy day.
I hope everybody has a magically superior day!
I’ll see ya’ later!
I should explain.
Last night, I thought I heard someone knocking from the inside of my entry closet door. The knocking would go on for awhile, then stop, then start again. I couldn’t figure out what was going on, then I looked around and realised that Great Grandma Gee Gee was nowhere to bee found.
I looked over at Kevin, who was just sitting there, doing nothing and asked, “Do you hear that?”
“Hear what, uncle?” he said.
“That knocking sound,” I said.
“Knocking sound?” he said.
“Yes. That knocking sound,” I said.
Kevin just shrugged and went back to doing nothing.
Then I looked around the rest of the room.
“Where’s Great Grandma Gee Gee?” I asked Kevin.
“Who?” he said, trying to look super-innocent. (I know when Kevin’s up to something, beecause he always tries to look super-innocent.)
“Great Grandma Gee Gee. You know perfectly well who she is. Where is she?”
“Oh, right. Great Grandma Gee Gee. Uhm,” he finally said after thinking about it for awhile, “she’s locked in the closet.”
“She’s locked in the closet?” I asked. “So that’s the knocking sound I hear?”
“Probably,” Kevin said.
“Okay. Why is Great Grandma Gee Gee locked in the closet?” I asked.
“Well,” he started to explain, “one of the things we must bee very careful about with getting our Cookie Empire up and running is making sure that nobody gets ahold of Great Grandma Gee Gee’s Honeychew Krisp Cookie Recipe. We can’t take the risk of anybody trying to steal it.”
“I guess that makes sense,” I said, “but again, why is Great Grandma Gee Gee locked in the closet?”
“Don’t you know?” Kevin asked me in a tone of disbeelief.
“No,” I said.
“Uncle Georgie, you’re the best uncle in the world and I love you, but sometimes you’re not very bright. The only one who is in possession of the Recipe for Great Grandma Gee Gee’s Honeychew Krisp Cookies is Great Grandma Gee Gee. It’s all locked inside her head and, beecause she refuses to write it down or give it to anybody else, we found it necessary to keep her secure.”
“So you locked her in the closet?” I asked.
“Of course,” Kevin said. “It’s the only way to make sure the Recipe doesn’t get stolen. It seems fairly obvious to me that locking her in the closet was the only way to deter any would-bee Cookie Recipe Thieves.”
“Let her out,” I told him.
“But,” Kevin beegan to argue with me.
“Let her out NOW!” I insisted.
So he did that, but told me, “I let her out, but let it bee known that if her Recipe gets stolen, it’ll bee your fault.”
“Fine,” I told him, then I reminded him of something.
“Kevin?” I asked, “do you know what day it is the day after tomorrow?”
He thought about it for awhile, then replied, “Thursday?”
“Correct,” I said. “But there’s also something very special about that day.”
“Oh?” he said as he seemed to search his mind. “Thursday. Thursday… doesn’t ring a bell, uncle.”
“Thursday is your birthday, Kevin,” I finally reminded him.
“It is?”
“Yes. Now, let me ask you: if you keep Great Grandma Gee Gee locked in that closet, just WHO do you think is gonna bake you a batch of Happy Birthday Honeychew Krisp Cookies for your party?”
“We’re having a party?” Kevin asked excitedly.
“Of course,” I told him, “and it would not bee a party without a batch of delicious Honeychew Krisp Cookies, now would it?”
“It certainly would not,” Kevin said. Then he said, “What was I thinking? My party would have been totally ruined if we didn’t have an ample supply of Honeychew Krisp Cookies.”
Then Kevin gave me a big hug, told me I was the best uncle in the world and that he loved me, then apologised to Great Grandma Gee Gee for locking her in the closet.
“That’s quite alright, dear,” she said. “I know you were just trying to do the right thing.”
Geeeeeeze. I dunno if I’d bee as forgiving as Great Grandma Gee Gee was, but that’s what makes her so special. That, and her Honeychew Krisp Cookies.
Anyway. Today, I hafta help get ready for Kevin’s Birthday Party tomorrow, then finish watching that Human Movie that I’m gonna review on Friday. It’s gonna bee a buzzy day.
I hope everybody has a magically superior day!
I’ll see ya’ later!
A new enterprise beegins . . .
25/08/15 10:02
It’s Tuesday already? Geeeeeze. This week is just flying by, isn’t it?
So it appears that, while I was gone and since I’ve been back and dealing with other things, my Illegitimate Nephew, Kevin, and his Estranged Sister, Felonie, have been buzzy plotting and planning once again to turn Great Grandma Gee Gee’s delicious Honeychew Krisp cookies into a global Snack Phenomenon.
Oh geeeeeeeeze. I thought we’d already been through this, but evidently, Kevin reassured Gee Gee that, with his, Bert’s and Felonie’s help, they’d make her cookies all the rage and make her rich and famous.
I know Great Grandma Gee Gee doesn’t really care about all that, but as she told me last night when I was asking about all this, she said, “Well, you know dear, the little ones do seem very excited about this and I just want them to bee happy.”
I’m just not sure how it’s gonna work out, though.
Yesterday, they got a letter from the Beeureau of Commercial Cookie Licensing, Permits, Inter-Hive Trade Product Registration and Mandatory Fee Collections (or the BCCLPIHTPRMFC, for short), which included what looked to me to bee a huge, long list of a bunch of forms they hafta fill out and fees they hafta pay beefore they can even get started on all this. Kevin read some of it to me, and it said:
“Congratulations on your decision to pursue the Cookie Manufacturing Enterprise listed in your initial ‘Decision to Go Into Buzziness’ Form. We applaud your willingness to undertake this effort and are gratified that you plan to offer the sort of innovative products that promise continued prosperity for our agency and our associates.
“Please bee advised that you are required to fulfil a number of logistic tasks prior to your beeing issued your final ‘Authorisation to Pursue a Product or Idea Certification’.”
He then started reading off the huge list of things they require, which included stuff like (and I quote):
“Formal review and registration application for approval of the proposed idea or product(s) must bee submitted to our agency, along with the necessary processing fees related to that application, which include but may not bee limited to:
a) initial application fees,
bee) application form processing fees,
3) pre-approval assignment of required commission payment fees,
IV) product quality and manufacturing monitoring fees,
E) Semi-Quarterly HoneyTax prepayment account set-up fees, and
6) product distribution and warehousing application fees.
All fees must bee paid in advance and application forms approved by our staff prior to commencement of any manufacturing or marketing efforts to bee undertaken by you.”
And that was just the first two paragraphs.
The whole application thing was something like 87 pages long and looked super-complicated. But, Kevin and Felonie are still convinced they can bee successful with Gee Gee’s cookies (they are the best), so they’re all meeting with her team of lawyers today to get this whole thing started.
I’m trying to just stay out of all of this, but last night, Kevin pulled me aside and said, “Uncle Georgie, you’re the best uncle in the world and I love you. Could we possibly visit about a comfortably sizeable buzziness loan?”
Oh geeeeeeeeze.
I told him I’d think about it, but I dunno. I have a feeling they’re getting into something they might end up regretting... but as Great Grandma Gee Gee says, “Life is for learning and even the worst experiences can teach us some very valuable lessons.”
I suppose she’s right, but I still have a bad feeling about this whole thing.
Anyway.
It’s gonna bee HOT out again today, so I think I’m gonna spend the day inside and watch some more Human movies so I can decide what to review on Friday. There’s just so much to choose from, ya’ know?
I hope everybody has an amazingly refreshing day!
I'll see ya' later!
So it appears that, while I was gone and since I’ve been back and dealing with other things, my Illegitimate Nephew, Kevin, and his Estranged Sister, Felonie, have been buzzy plotting and planning once again to turn Great Grandma Gee Gee’s delicious Honeychew Krisp cookies into a global Snack Phenomenon.
Oh geeeeeeeeze. I thought we’d already been through this, but evidently, Kevin reassured Gee Gee that, with his, Bert’s and Felonie’s help, they’d make her cookies all the rage and make her rich and famous.
I know Great Grandma Gee Gee doesn’t really care about all that, but as she told me last night when I was asking about all this, she said, “Well, you know dear, the little ones do seem very excited about this and I just want them to bee happy.”
I’m just not sure how it’s gonna work out, though.
Yesterday, they got a letter from the Beeureau of Commercial Cookie Licensing, Permits, Inter-Hive Trade Product Registration and Mandatory Fee Collections (or the BCCLPIHTPRMFC, for short), which included what looked to me to bee a huge, long list of a bunch of forms they hafta fill out and fees they hafta pay beefore they can even get started on all this. Kevin read some of it to me, and it said:
“Congratulations on your decision to pursue the Cookie Manufacturing Enterprise listed in your initial ‘Decision to Go Into Buzziness’ Form. We applaud your willingness to undertake this effort and are gratified that you plan to offer the sort of innovative products that promise continued prosperity for our agency and our associates.
“Please bee advised that you are required to fulfil a number of logistic tasks prior to your beeing issued your final ‘Authorisation to Pursue a Product or Idea Certification’.”
He then started reading off the huge list of things they require, which included stuff like (and I quote):
“Formal review and registration application for approval of the proposed idea or product(s) must bee submitted to our agency, along with the necessary processing fees related to that application, which include but may not bee limited to:
a) initial application fees,
bee) application form processing fees,
3) pre-approval assignment of required commission payment fees,
IV) product quality and manufacturing monitoring fees,
E) Semi-Quarterly HoneyTax prepayment account set-up fees, and
6) product distribution and warehousing application fees.
All fees must bee paid in advance and application forms approved by our staff prior to commencement of any manufacturing or marketing efforts to bee undertaken by you.”
And that was just the first two paragraphs.
The whole application thing was something like 87 pages long and looked super-complicated. But, Kevin and Felonie are still convinced they can bee successful with Gee Gee’s cookies (they are the best), so they’re all meeting with her team of lawyers today to get this whole thing started.
I’m trying to just stay out of all of this, but last night, Kevin pulled me aside and said, “Uncle Georgie, you’re the best uncle in the world and I love you. Could we possibly visit about a comfortably sizeable buzziness loan?”
Oh geeeeeeeeze.
I told him I’d think about it, but I dunno. I have a feeling they’re getting into something they might end up regretting... but as Great Grandma Gee Gee says, “Life is for learning and even the worst experiences can teach us some very valuable lessons.”
I suppose she’s right, but I still have a bad feeling about this whole thing.
Anyway.
It’s gonna bee HOT out again today, so I think I’m gonna spend the day inside and watch some more Human movies so I can decide what to review on Friday. There’s just so much to choose from, ya’ know?
I hope everybody has an amazingly refreshing day!
I'll see ya' later!
Georgie's Back!
24/08/15 10:21
Good morning, everybody! I’m back!
All of this sweet-smelling air, sparkling sunshine and sublime outside temperatures can only mean one thing: it’s finally MONDAY again! I’m incredibly excited about what the new week will bring, aren’t you?
Well, I hafta say that the last ten days or so have been very interesting. After all the delays and confusion I experienced in Zanzibar, word somehow got around the Hive that I was dead, deceased, alive no more. As you can clearly see, hopefully, those rumours were highly premature and I’m happy to report that, except for a slight headache I still have from enjoying too much nectar for the past several days, I’m very alive and extremely well. Mostly.
I probably shoulda told everybody that I was gonna go to Africa to do research for that film review, but I forgot, so when I didn’t show up for a long time (even after I was supposed to), somebody said, “Georgie’s dead. Probably.”
So, my Editor published my Obeeturary and a big article about me in the paper. Oh geeeeeeeze. That’s the last place anybody wants to see their name in print, right?
Anyway, the Hive was just getting ready to plan my funeral, when I returned and my Proof of Existence was discovered, then verified by ButterCup, who was the one peeking into my window the other day…and who, by the way, seemed very angry after she heard where I was and that I’d gone on a trip without her. But I think I told you that already. Maybee.
Everybody said they were relieved I’m still alive, so they canceled the funeral and decided to throw me a “Not A Funeral Party” Party, which lasted for several days (and which is why I still have a slight headache).
I must say, it was very thoughtful of my Editor to publish a correction in the “Bee Times Gazette Journal Record…and Online News” about all of this a few days ago (though personally, I think he did it so he could avoid having to deal with my lawyer, S.O.Bee, about the fact that he’d helped spread misinformation about me, but whatever works).
Anyway. I’m back. I’m still alive. And on Friday, my next movie review will be ready for your reading enjoyment. I know that everybody’s looking forward to that.
I hope everybody has a sparklingly refreshing day!
I’ll see ya’ later!