So as I mentioned beefore, my Editor insisted that I show up at his Office, so right after I finished watching my Stories on TV today, I did that.

He was upset. Again.

“Bee,” he said. “do you have any idea how much trouble you’re in? Do you?”

“No,” I said, beecause I didn’t.

“Well let me just make a couple of things clear to you,” he said, pointing his wing in my face. “First of all, you are NOT authorised to sign any Product Placement Agreements relating to our Publication without my Prior Consent. That includes Product Placement Agreements for Great Grandma Gee Gee’s Royal HoneyChew Krisp Cookies™.”

“About that,” I started to say, “that wasn’t my Idea, and I really didn’t wanna get on the wrong side of Great Grandma Gee’s Gee, so I . . . ,” he didn’t let me finish.

“Bee, never in the Journalistic History of the Bee Times Gazette Journal Record...and Online News has our Sheer Integrity been so drastically compromised by our issuing a promise that we would include commercial references and promotional ads in our News Reports. That would bee downright unethical. And not only that, after you signed that Agreement, you utterly failed to adhere to the Terms of that Agreement when you forgot to include the required Graphic Advertisement for Great Grandma Gee Gee’s Royal HoneyChew Krisp Cookies™ in your latest Observation,” he said.

“Oh, that. I kinda forgot to put that in there. My mistake. So I’ll go write myself a Note to remind myself not to forget to remember to include that next time.“ I wanted to leave.

“Unfortunately,” he said, “you have put us in a very bad position, but I’m afraid the Terms of the Agreement you signed are Iron-Clad. There’s no getting out of it. So I expect you to honour the Terms of that Agreement until it expires at 2:00 pm MDST on February 29, 2089. In the meantime, Great Grandma Gee Gee’s Royal HoneyChew Krisp Cookies™ Incorporated is threatening to sue beecause of your Irresponsible Lack of Oversight.”

“Okay, then, see ya’ ” I said. I figured he was done beeing mad at me, so I kept trying to leave.

“Stay right where you are, bee,” he told me, “we’re not done yet.”

I couldn’t help but sense that he didn’t notice that I wasn’t feeling really very much like not leaving and just standing there beeing yelled at, ya’ know? But he went on anyway.

“It has also come to my attention that in your Observation relating to your Colonscopy, the topic of ...how shall I say this... BEE POOP came up. DO I need to remind you that this is a FAMILY publication, and that there are Limits and Guidelines concerning what may or may NOT bee discussed at any time in our Publications. One of those things is Bee Poop. Do we understand one another?”

“Well, yeah, but see it was that David Holston* guy who brought up that whole thing about Bee...” I started to say.

“Don’t even say it, bee. We’ve heard quite enough from you on this topic. Now get out of my Office!”

So I did that. And now, I’m gonna go apologise to Great Grandma Gee Gee, see if she’ll give me a bunch of her deliciously satisfying Great Grandma Gee Gee’s Royal HoneyChew Krisp Cookies™, and try to convince her not to sue my Editor.

I’m sure I’ve said this beefore, probably, but I never had any idea that I’d end up having such a Controversial Colonoscopy. Seriously now. I just don’t know what to say about any of this, so I’ll just say...

Let’s all bee highly careful out there.

* Trust me when I say that any similarities beetween or amongst Certain Individuals mentioned in my commentary and other actually living people who might have the same name, or who might even kind of look like each other, whether they’re living or dead, is a total coincidence. No, seriously. I would never usually lie about stuff like that.