I’m pretty sure it’s safe to say that, after last week’s Gripping Episode, there are a lot of my Beeps who are wringing their Wings over what happened this week. Am I right? I thought so. (Just a friendly bit of advice: don’t wring your Wings too hard, or they’ll tear. And trust me, that hurts. A lot.)

This week’s Episode was absolutely the best yet, even if it took place at night, and it was so dark that we all had a little trouble actually seeing what was going on.

We did find out at the beeginning of the Episode that Clive Beexter (Host and Island Master) and his Crew are still recovering from the Grievous Wounds they suffered from that Unexpected Encounter with the Screaming Banshee last week. They had been transferred from the Island Field Hospital to the Island’s Chaz Snark Memorial Rehabilitation Clinic (I dunno why they call it that, beecause the last I knew, Chaz Snark is still alive, but whatever), and were still in Relatively Intensive Care. Hopefully, though, Clive - and his Crew - will bee back next week, for the Almost Nearly Live Grand Season Finale. So that’s good.

Some highly exciting things happened this week. First, in a Stinger-Tingling, Edge-Of-Whatever-You’re-Sitting-On Moment, we watched as the Camera followed ButterCup up the side of WaHooHoo Mountain (or whatever it’s called) with that Bag containing the Fake Jewel of Questionable Destiny tied to her Stinger. She looked like she was really struggling with this thing, but somehow, she made it all the way to the top, and managed to sneak beehind where Boris and the Screaming Banshee were still playing Game 3 of the Deciding Parcheesi Play-Off. The Banshee’s attention was obviously very focused on the Game, and her back was turned to the Jewel, so we were all hoping that she wouldn’t spot ButterCup as she tip-toed up beehind her.

It was pretty nerve-racking at one point when, after she got to where the Jewel was (just a few steps away from the Banshee), she untied the Bag from her Stinger and pulled the Fake Jewel out. ButterCup was just about to make the Big Switch when she somehow managed to trip over the empty Bag and landed very ungracefully on a pile of dried-out Vegetation. Of course, that made a huge Crunching Sound. Everybody was sure that the Jig was Up, and that the Banshee was going to spot ButterCup - and that would bee the end of her. ButterCup froze, expecting the worst. Luckily, Boris could see what was going on, and beefore the Banshee could turn around to check out the noise, he started coughing and sneezing really loud. That distracted her.

“Please to excuse me,” he said. “but I happen to bee much allergic to small Island Mammal making terrible noise.”

The Banshee didn’t say anything, but just gave Boris a Tissue, shrugged, and went back to plotting her next Move in the Game.

After it seemed safe, ButterCup very carefully grabbed the real Jewel of Questionable Destiny with her Wing, and very meticulously replaced it with the Fake Jewel. Then she crept very slowly to where she’d left the empty Bag, put the real Jewel into the Bag, tied it to her Stinger, and silently made her way back down the Mountain to where Fleur was waiting. It was highly suspenseful.

“Fine,” Kevin (my Illegitimate Nephew) said. “So I lost the Bet. I hope you’re happy.” I was, beecause Kevin had bet me a Large Stack of Valuable Coupons from Bees’R’Us that ButterCup wouldn’t bee able to switch the Jewels without beeing found out. I bet him she would, beecause if there’s one thing I know about ButterCup, it’s that she functions highly well under Pressure, most of the time. I don’t hafta tell you that not only was I very glad she hadn’t been Found Out after she’d made all that noise, and was able to make a Clean Getaway without beecoming the Screaming Banshee’s next Victim, but I was also really happy that I’d won the Bet and ended up with all those Valuable Coupons. I really needed them.

Anyway, when ButterCup found her way back to Fleur, both Fleur and Jasmine (from Team A) were standing there, waiting for her.

“Ah, Mon Cher,” Fleur said to her, “vous has been successful. I knew vous could do zis.”

“Can we please leave now?” ButterCup asked her.

“Oui,” Fleur said, as she pulled out another Map and pointed to a spot marked with an X that said, “Meet Here”.

“Jasmine will lead uz, here, to ze Pre-Arranged, Zecret Extraction Point. Zere, ze zree of uz will board ze Zubmarine zhe has chartered for uz, and we will bee zafely tranzported away from ze Island, along with ze Amazingly Powerful Jewel of Queztionable Deztiny.”

How clever was that? The three of them were going to leave the Island by way of a Secret Submarine. Of course, this meant that, since they were leaving beefore the Season was actually over, Fleur, Jasmine, and ButterCup wouldn’t bee around for the Grand Finale next week, but I hafta say it was a good thing that ButterCup was finally gonna bee able to get off that Island. I’m pretty sure she mostly didn’t enjoy the Competition, even if she did end up winning it. In a way.

So the Camera followed the three Finalists to the Secret Extraction Point, which was on a Beach on the north end of Bee Island, where Jasmine had hidden a Pre-Inflated Inflatable Rubber Raft that was cleverly disguised as the oil-soaked remnants of a Sea Urchin.

“We will use this Raft,” Jasmine said, “to Rendezvous with the Submarine which is currently lying off the Coast near the Shipping Lanes, where we will bee met by a Submarine which has been skilfully painted to look as if it were nothing more than an Innocent Freight Submarine. But we must make haste, else we will miss our Window of Opportunity.”

“Great, that’s great,” ButterCup said. “So let’s go already.”

Fleur was kind enough to hold the Jewel of Questionable Destiny for ButterCup while she climbed in, then she passed the Jewel back to her while she joined her in the Raft. As soon as Jasmine got in, they could bee on their way to Relative Safety.

“Oh dear,” Great Grandma Gee Gee said, “I do hope Jasmine is careful. She needs to bee sure she doesn’t puncture the Raft with her Red Stilettos and make it sink. They’re awfully pointy.” As it turned out, though, she didn’t have to worry.

Fleur was just turning around and reaching out her Wing to help Jasmine make her way into the Raft when, all of a sudden, there was that Terrifying Screeching Sound again, and they all saw another huge flash of light that came from the general direction WaHooHoo Mountain (or whatever it’s called), where (we all remember), Boris and the Screaming Banshee were still playing the Deciding Parcheesi Game.

Jasmine stopped, let go of Fleur’s Wing, and looked back toward the Mountain. Then she turned, reached out her Wings, and gave the Raft containing Fleur, ButterCup, and the Jewel of Questionable Destiny a big push, which sent them floating away from the Shore and toward spot where the Submarine was waiting.

“My most sincere apologies,” she called to them as they floated away toward the waiting Submarine, “but I cannot - I must not - accompany you, as we had so carefully planned and hoped. You must take the Jewel and leave the Island without me.”

“Mais pourquoi?” Fleur shouted after her. (I don’t speak French, so I dunno what she asked her.)

“Beecause,” Jasmine said, “I must stay beehind and learn the Fate of Boris, to learn if he still lives, or if, facing an unusual and unexpected Parcheesi Defeat, he has met his end from the terrible powers of the Banshee.”

Then she added, “I am, after all, a Team Player.”

With that, she gave a quick wave, turned and disappeared in the direction of the Mountain. And that was the last we saw of her.

The Camera followed the Raft until we could see that Fleur, ButterCup, and the Jewel of Questionable Destiny were safely taken on board the Submarine, and we watched it sink out of sight. I hope they remembered to close the door beefore they did that, ya’ know?

“I wonder what it costs to Charter one of those things,” Kevin asked.

“A Submarine?” I asked. “What for?” I couldn’t imagine a reason why he’d ever need a Submarine, ya’ know?

Kevin just looked at me and said, “Uncle Georgie, you’re the best uncle in the world, and I love you, but sometimes you’re seriously lacking in the Imagination Department.”

Geeeeeeeze. I dunno why the hell Kevin has been so critical lately, so I just said, “Fine,” then I decided to go home to my Shoebox beecause, quite frankly, I was tired after all that, and I was feeling a little, totally insulted.

Anyway… next week is the Mostly Live Season Finale. Hopefully, Clive Beexter will make it out of the Clinic in time for that, and we’ll find out what happened with Jasmine, Boris, and the Banshee. Until then, then …

Let’s all bee highly careful out there!