So in case you've been wondering, here's what the Fi2 (the Fabricated Intelligence Meteorological Forecast Unit) Print-Out (the one my Editor didn't Edit beefore he published it) said:

"Today's Forecast: High of 305.37º Kelvin …. Low of 289.4278º Kelvin …. Might Rain, Might Not. …. And don't tell anybody, but Kevin has scheduled the third Secret Planning Swarm for Great Grandma Gee Gee's Surprise Non-Retirement Party….and Kevin doesn’t want anybody to Know that he still has a Huge Crush on Fleur de Bee. … End of Report. … Have a nice day."

As you probably might have possibly Guessed, it turned out to bee Highly Embarrassing that all the Clandestine Scheming and Planning Kevin (who, by the way in case you don’t already Know, is my Illegitimate Nephew) had done was suddenly not a Secret anymore. Thanks to my Editor not Editing the Forecast, the Surprise (the Party to Celebrate the Fact that Great Grandma Gee Gee isn’t Retiring) was completely Ruined, mostly.

I don’t think I need to tell you that Kevin was not only Highly Embarrassed about having his Secret Crush Totally Revealed to everybody - but everybody who has been a part of the Surprise Non-Retirement Party Planning Swarm were Furious. I’m also going to Guess that you can Guess that Great Grandma Gee Gee was beeyond Disappointed, and that in Light of the Surprise beeing Ruined, she’s now thinking about Retiring (we all hope she doesn’t, of course). Also as a result of all this, Kevin and the Swarm went to Queen Tay’s Beeureau of Frivolous Complaints and filed a Formal Complaint against my Editor and the "Bee Times Gazette Journal Record...and Online News”. That made my Editor Highly Upset.  

But listen to this:
Did my Editor blame the Fabricated Intelligence Print-Out for the Huge Embarrassment? No, he didn’t.
And did he blame himself for his own Failure to Edit? 
No, he did not.
Instead, he sent me an Urgent and Fairly Nasty Buzz-O-Gram™ demanding that I meet him in his Office Immediately As Soon As Possible - Or Else. I don’t have to tell you that I had the Sneaking Suspicion that he was going to blame me for this whole mess.
I ask you: how Mostly Unfair is that?  

Anyway, I went, and my Sneaking Suspicion was Totally Correct. As soon as I walked in, I could tell that my Editor was Super Mad as he started Buzzing at me.

“Bee,” he said, “if it were not for your Relying on that Criminally Indiscreet Fabricated Intelligence Device of yours, neither I nor this Publication would bee in the Trouble we find ourselves now having to deal with," (I could tell by the way he was slamming his Wing on his Desk that he was for sure Highly Mad), “…and if I Remember Correctly, I have told you Time and Time Again that I do not want any Trouble. EVER. But thanks to you, here we are," he said - then he had the Audacity to ask me, "Now what are you going to do about this mess?”

Actually, I don't ever remember my Editor telling me he didn't want any Trouble, and for sure, I don't Remember ever beeing Responsible for my Editor doing his job. Seriously now - what the hell is that all about? And if anybody should bee Upset, it should be Kevin and, of course, Great Grandma Gee Gee. When it comes right down to it, my Editor’s Failure to Edit is, in my Opinion, completely to Blame for spoiling her Non-Retirement Surprise Party. Personally, I think it’s also Completely his Fault that a Formal Complaint was Filed, and that he has to Appear beefore a Bored of Inquiry to Explain himself.

(By the way: in case you’re interested, or want to Attend, the Hearing is scheduled for sometime after the Annual Honey Ball that usually happens on the First Evening of the Second Weekend of the First Day of the New Cool Season, which (as we all know) is only a couple of weeks away. Let me know and I’ll save you a Seat.)

Anyway.

"YOU,” he kept Buzzing at me, "are going to Fix this. YOU,” he said, "are going to Testify on my Beehalf during the Hearing, and YOU are going to see to it that Blame is placed where Blame is Due - on YOU and that miserable Fabricated Intelligence Device of yours."

“Fine,” I said, as if I had a Choice.

“Now get out of my Office,” he said.

So I did that.

I hafta say that I don’t think it’s necessarily Fair that I’m getting the Blame for Faulty Fabricated Intelligence - but whatever. The fact is that I have to Prepare my Testimony about all this … so I’m gonna go do that.

Beefore I get into trying to explain exactly what the hell has been going on around here lately, I need to make a Comment about something.  I don't know if anybody Realises this, but a couple of days ago, it was supposedly National HoneyBee Day. I woke up Super Early that morning beecause I was Highly Excited about beeing a bee with a National Day.  After I combed my Fuzz, got my Antennae straightened out (I slept on them funny), and put on a Fresh Pair of Socks, I waited for the first Happy National HoneyBee Day Well-Wishers to start showing up at my ShoeBox Door.  Then I waited. And waited. And waited some more. You want to know who came by? Nobody, that's who. Nobody showed up. Nobody called. Nobody sent me any Encrypted Text Messages, and by Lunchtime, I was pretty sure nobody was going to bee wishing me a Happy National HoneyBee Day.  

Instead of just wasting my time Waiting for Something That Would Apparently Never Happen, Probably, I decided to track down my Girlfriend, ButterCup. I wanted to ask her if she knew if anybody was throwing any Huge Parties to Celebrate the Special Day.

First, I went to ButterCup’s Cell in the Hive. She wasn’t there, but she did leave a Note that read:

“To Whom It May Concern:
I am taking the Day Off today. If there is an Emergency, you will find me in the Far, Far Meadow, enjoying this Beeautiful Day, and tending to Anything-But-Thriving Garden. I’ll bee back later. - ButterCup”

So I buzzed over to the Far, Far Meadow, and spotted ButterCup basking in the Sun. She was obviously taking a Break from Watering her Anything-But-Thriving Garden with that Perpetually-Self-Filling Watering Can I gave her for her Birthday a whole bunch of years ago (I’m so glad she’s actually using it).

“I see that you’ve decided to take the Day Off to Celebrate our Special Day,” I said to her.
"What Special Day?" she asked me as if she didn't know what the hell I was Buzzing about.
"National HoneyBee Day,  of course," I told her.
"Never heard of it. And, may I ask, what's so Special about it?"
"What kind of Question is that?" I asked her. "It's National HoneyBee Day. It's National. It's a Day, and we're HoneyBees - that's what's so Special about it."

ButterCup just looked at me as if I'd just told her I didn't beelieve in Beeswax (for the record, of course I beelieve in Beeswax... I mean how Ridiculous is it to think anybody, especially any Bee, wouldn't beelieve in Beeswax. That would bee like not beelieving in Vitamin Supplements), and said, "Look, Georgie, I don't know why, but I can tell this National HoneyBee Day Thing seems to bee Important to you, so I'll tell you what: it's coming up on the Middle of the Afternoon, so let me Change into something Less Comfortable, and I'll treat you to a Late Lunch at Lousy Louie's."
"Does that include Beverages?" I had to know.
"Of course," she said. "We'll order a couple tall Nectar Fizzes and Toast National HoneyBee Day!”
"Fine," I said.

So we did that.

Next year, I think that maybee I’m gonna' consider possibly planning a Huge Party to celebrate National HoneyBee Day… but I’ll tell you right now: everybody will have to bring their own Nectar Fizzes.  (Seriously now, do I look like a Bartender to you?)

Anyway, what I really wanted to Share with you is that just little while ago, I delivered my first Fabricated Intelligence-Fabricated Meteorological Forecast to my Editor, and to let him know that sit was Mostly Accurate, but that it also had some things in there he'd for sure want to Edit, probably. But when I showed up with it, he didn't let me Inform him of that Fact. Instead, he just Snatched the Print-Out from the Fi2 out of my Wing, and said, "It's about Time, Bee. We're just about to roll the Presses and Hit the 'Send' Button on today's Edition of the 'Bee Times Gazette Journal Record...and Online News’. I'm sure our Beeloved Subscribers will appreciate finally seeing an Accurate Weather Forecast for a Change. This is going Straight to Production."
"But...," I tried to tell him.
“And tomorrow, Bee" he said, "don't bee cutting things so close to the Deadline - Or Else."
"But...," I really tried again to tell him there might bee some Irregularities in the Forecast.
"But...but... I have Work to do. Get the hell out my Office," he said.

So I did that.

So do you Remember when I might have possibly for sure Mentioned that Kevin (my Illegitimate Nephew and Inventor of the Fi2 Fabricated Intelligence Meteorological Forecast Device) had told me that his Invention still had a few Bugs?  Well, it does.  And remember how the Device Sees and Hears Everything and seems to want to repeat Gossip? Yeah, well, let me just say that I hope my Editor actually Edits the Forecast beefore he Publishes it. 

I hafta' say: it's mostly likely Highly Possible that we might have a Problem here, probably... .

Well, in case you completely lost track of what’s been Going On (and, if you have, don’t feel bad beecause that happens to me all the time - in fact, I asked the Hive Doctor, Ph.Bee, about it the last time I was in the Hive Clinic for my Post-Post Persistent Coma Follow-Up Exam, and after running a few Tests, he said, “You’re fine”, so if I’m Fine, you’re also Fine, probably. We’re all Fine here, so let’s just get back to where we were - which is the Noble Study of Meteorology and Weather Forecasting), Allow me to Refresh your Memory.

As I’m sure I mentioned the last time we Spoke, I had finished Studying all the Books about Meteorology that Melodie, the Hive Librarian, had Turned Me Onto. None of those made a hell of a lot of Sense to me, so, as you’ll also Remember, or not, I tried to get the help of my Illegitimate Nephew, Kevin, to Construct some sort of Fabricated Intelligence Device that would help me come up with all those Weather Forecasts my Editor wants me to give him. But, of course, Kevin was Buzzy, so I had to wait an entire Week beefore he had Time to See me. Which he did just two days ago which I think was a Tuesday, not that it matters.

So a couple of days ago, I made my way back to the BootBox Kevin shares with Great Grandma Gee Gee, and Boy Howdy (whoever that is) was I Greeted Warmly.

“Hello, Uncle Georgie! I am so glad you are here! I am so sorry about beeing so Abrupt with you the last time you were here, but beelieve me - when you see what I was Working On the last time you just Showed Up - which, by the way I have to say that you’re the Best Uncle in the World, and I love you, but it is Significantly Rude to just show up like that without calling first, or setting up an Appointment, so let us keep that in mind for Future Reference - you won’t Beelieve your Compound Eyes,” he said.

“Sorry,” I apologised. I don’t like it when I’m Rude, usually, even though there are times when Beeing Rude seems Highly Appropriate, especially when somebody is beeing Weird, if you know what I mean - but let’s not get into that.

“Uncle,” Kevin said as he led me into his Workshop. “Beehold the world’s First Fabricated Intelligence Meteorological Prediction Device!” Then he pointed to what looked like Bert’s (Kevin’s Robotic iBee which I had thought he’d dismantled a long time ago) Head. It was beeyond Weird, then I noticed it had a Name written on it.

“Fiz?” I asked. “That’s what you call this thing?”

“No, Uncle. Not Fiz. It is the ‘Fi2’ : ‘Fi’ as in ‘Fabricated Intelligence and ’2’ beecause it’s the Second Generation of Practical Fabricated Intelligence Devices . You should know that 1) It took me 187 Hours to Build the Fi2, and 2), the Fi2 is ranked Number One amongst any other Meterological Forecasting Devices that may or may not Exist.”

“I see,” I said, “but I hafta’ say that it looks an awful lot like Bert - your iBee’s - Head stuck to the top of some sort of box for something, and it looks kind of Weird. I think it’s Looking At me,” I told him.

“It is Bert’s Head,” Kevin said, “and it is Looking At you,” he said. “It is always Looking, it is always Listening, and it is always Processing everything it Observes in the Surrounding Environment.”

“That’s Creepy and Weird,” I said, but Kevin seemed to Ignore me as he put his wing proudly on the top of the Fi2 (Bert’s Head, actually), and started telling me a bunch of Highly Technical Stuff I didn’t want to hear.

“Powered by Fermented Berry Batteries,” Kevin said Proudly, “the Fi2 is constantly at work, observing every, minute detail of its Surrounding Environment. It is Recording both Indoor and Outdoor Temperature, Humidity, Barometric Pressure, and Wind Readings, as well as any Useful Gossip it may Overhear. It then Transfers that Data into its Internal Crystal Drive where its Fabricated Memory Module Processes it and Formulates - then Prints Out - an Unbeelievably Accurate, Up-to-the-Second Meteorological Forecast - or, as you likely call it, a Weather Report. And knowing that you Need this Device - Or Else - I am giving it to you.”

“Fine,” I said. “But beefore I carry this thing home, I need you to show me how it works.”

“No problem,” Kevin said. “It is excruciatingly Simple. Observe.”

With that, he looked at the Fi2 that was looking back at us and said, “Bert, please provide me with a Print-Out of the Current Weather Conditions and Meteorological Forecast.”

The Fi2 made kind of a Whirring noise, then it started to Print the Report Kevin had Requested. When it was done Printing, I reached over and pulled the Report out of the Slot, and read it. It said:

“The Current Temperature is 297.594 Degrees Kelvin. There is no Wind, The Humidity is a delightful 23%, and Kevin still has a Giant Crush on Fleur de Bee. Thank you.”

Kevin looked kind of Flustered and not all that Happy about what the Fi2 had Reported, so he said, “Okay, that is enough for today. I will bee making some Necessary Adjustments to the Device, and will Deliver it to you by tomorrow Afternoon. Now please leave.”

Kevin seemed to beecome Mostly Rude again, but I did that. I left.

The next Day, Kevin showed up at my ShoeBox with what I assumed was the De-Bugged Fi2.

“You are all set, Uncle. You can now just sit back, relax, and let the Fi2 Device take care of everything. It will need new Fermented Cherries in about a Month, and you will need to check the Print-Out Paper Supply and Ink Cartridges after every tenth Print-Out, but otherwise, you are good to go. And you are very Welcome.”

“Thank you,” I said. Then Kevin left.

I decided to carry the Fi2 Outside and put it in an Appropriately Semi-Sunny Shady Spot just on the other side of my ShoeBox - then I fixed myself a Refreshing Nectar Fizz (I even remembered the Necessary Umbrella and Bendy-Straw), and have been sitting here in the Shade, waiting for it to finish Printing Out its first Amazingly Accurate Meterological Forecast which I can then give to my Editor who I know I will bee Beeyond Happy to finally get off my Back about this whole thing.

So I’m gonna go do that.

Alright then…where was I? Oh yeah. Meteorology.

So, just as my Editor told me I should do - Or Else - I went to the Hive Library and tried to find everything I could about Meteorology and Forecasting the Weather.

When I got there, I was Warmly Greeted by the Head Librarian, Melodie Hausenfliffer.
“What,” she asked me, “can I help you find? Would I bee guessing wrong if it appears you might bee looking for something in the Self-Help Section? Or perhaps you’re interested in a Romantic Adventure Spy Novel…we just received a shipment of 87 copies of “An Affair in Algiers”, if that interests you. Or perhaps you are seeking something in the Non-Fiction Category, something like…”
“Meteorology,” I interrupted her.
“Of course,” she said. “You do look like a bee who’s interested in the Weather.”
I wondered what the hell she meant by that, but beefore I could ask her, she told me to follow her. So I did that.

Within just a few Minutes, Melodie had provided me with every available Book having to do with the Weather.

After we got all the Books back to the Front Desk to get them Checked Out, Melodie told me that I had exactly 16 Days to Absorb the Knowledge contained in the Reading Materials beefore they had to bee Returned. I asked her, “What happens if I don’t get all these back in time?”
“I’ll leave that to your Imagination,” she said.
“Fine,” I said.
“Exactly,” she said.

So I stacked up the Books and made my way back to my ShoeBox, and for the next 16 Days, I Thoroughly Studied every book having to do with Meteorology and Weather Forecasting, and do you know what I learned? No? Well then I’ll tell you: I learned that in order to Accurately Forecast the Weather, you need Specialised Equipment that I don’t have anymore beecause it was Sucked Up in a Terrible Storm awhile ago, which is why I had to go to the Library in the first place.

Now that you mostly Fully Understand my Dilemma, you’re probably Wondering what I could do to provide my Editor with Primarily Accurate and Marginally Useful Daily Weather Forecasts, aren’t you? I thought so. I can answer that in two Words: Fabricated Intelligence, or as Kevin, my Illegitimate Nephew calls it, “F.I.”

After I returned all the books to the Library, I made my way over to Kevin’s BootBox (he’s still living with Great Grandma Gee Gee (who, by the way, has made a Fortune on her Delicious and Mostly Nutritious Royal Homemade HoneyChew Krisp Cookies™ and has Promised to take us all on a Cruise…of course, we keep asking her “When?” and about all she’ll say is, “At some Unforeseeable Point in the Future, Dear,” whenever that is) beecause Kevin Knows Everything there is to Know about Fabricated Intelligence.

Anyway, I knocked on their BootBox Door, and Kevin answered. He seemed a bit Annoyed.

“Uncle Georgie,” he said when he opened the Door, “you are the Best Uncle in the World, and I Love you, but I am Insufferably Buzzy at the Moment, so I must ask: what the hell do you want?”

“Intelligence,” I told him (I forgot to put in the “Fabricated” part).
Kevin looked at me kind of Funny and said, “But Uncle, you ARE Sentient. Everybody knows that. Are you here looking for some sort of Validation? Beecause if you are, I have to tell you that I’m just too Buzzy to bee holding your Wing and Reassuring you that you’re an Intelligent Being. Seriously now, Uncle.”
“So you’d rather I come back later?” I asked him. “There really is something I need to Talk to you about, so… “.
“Okay fine,” Kevin kind of Buzzed at me. “Come back tomorrow.”
“Fine,” I said.
“Fine,” he said, then he gave me a HoneyChew Krisp Cookie fresh out of the Oven, and told me to Leave.

So I did that.

I just can’t wait to get Kevin’s Help in getting Set Up with a Working Fabricated Intelligence Weather Forecasting App. I think we’re all Excited about that, aren’t we?
I thought so.

In the meantime, I’m thinking about going to Lousy Louie’s. I have a Coupon for two Regularly-Priced Nectartinis for every Purchase of a Half-Priced Half-Order of Honey Glazed Pollen Puffs.

Yeah, I’m gonna go do that.

So maybee you've probably for sure heard me mention that my Editor has Anger Management Issues, right? Well, apparently, he hasn't been going to the Meetings, so when he told me I had to show up in his Office - Or Else - I was mostly completely sure that he was going to Yell at me about something, and I was right. He did that.

Just to make a Short Story slightly Longer, I'm sure we all remember that my Editor had decided that I should bee the one to do the Daily Weather Forecasts for the Hive Newspaper (the Bee Times Gazette Journal Record...and Online News), and that to help me do a Job I never wanted, he had Purchased the Latest in Meteorological Predictive Tools - the Fully-Adjustable, Lightweight and Portable SBE X-56 MeteorMan1000 with Optional Real-Time Interactive Humidity Gauge and Breeze Detector which was, unfortunately, Lost in an Unexpected and Highly Severe Thunderstorm that Nobody saw coming, especially me. (It's the same Storm that Significantly Damaged my ShoeBox ... it was lucky that both Potato (my Certified Sensory-Impaired Emotional Support/Service LadyBug) and I were outside, enjoying the Beeautiful Weather. 

When my Editor found out that the Device had been Destroyed in the Storm, he told me that I'd have to not only pay 1/2 a Pound of Honey out of my Meagre Weekly Wages every week for the Loss of the Device (I only get 1/2-pound of Honey a Week .. that's not even enough to buy an order of Honey-Glazed Pollen Puffs and a Nectartini during Slightly Amused Hour at Lousy Louie's), but that I also have to provide the Weather Forecasts without the Benefit of the Device which, by the way, I never figured out  how to Use before it was Sucked Up and Carried Away by that Terrible Storm nobody saw coming.   

Seriously now, What the hell do I know about Predicting the Weather?  Nothing, that's What.

"Look," I told him, "I'm not a Weather Bee and I know Nothing about Predicting the Weather."
"It's Simple Meterology," he said.
"I also don't know anything about Simple Meteors," I told him, "and beesides, what do Simple Meteors have to do with any of this?" I had to know.
"No, Bee," he said. "this isn't about Meteors at all. It's about you providing this Publication Reliable, Accurate Daily Weather Forecasts for our Beeloved Subscribers - something you continue to Fail to Do."
"I really don’t want this Job," I told him. 
"Did I ask you if you wanted this Job, Bee?" he asked me.
"I don't think so," I said, beecause I actually couldn't remember how I ended up having this Job.
"No, I didn't," he said, which made me feel better about not remembering something I might have failed to Recall but didn’t.
“So here's what's going to Happen," he said. "I'm sending you to the Hive Library, where the Chief Librarian, Melodie Hausenfliffer, will Direct you to the Necessary Reference Materials relating to the Alleged Science of Meteorology, and you will remain in the Library until you learn how to do your Job."
"But I don't want the Job," I told him again.
"I wasn't asking," he said. "Now get out of my Office."
"Fine," I said, then I did that.

As you probably Guessed, I mentioned all of this to Kevin, my Illegitimate Nephew, and he said, “Uncle Georgie, I think you're the best Uncle in the World, and I love you, but you're not Thinking This Through."
"What are you talking about?" I had to know.
"You do not have to learn anything about Meteorology or Predicting the Weather, Uncle," he said.
"I don't?" I asked.
"No. Not anymore. I am delighted to Inform you that you can now use Fi to create your Forecasts for you."
"Fi? I asked. "What the hell is Fi?"
"Fabricated intelligence, Uncle - Upper Case F, Lower Case i - It is the latest in Technological Advancements that promises to make our Frequently-Tortured Existence more Bearable by dealing with the otherwise Monotonous and Routine Tasks that clutter what could bee a more Leisurely and Uncomplicated Lifestyle that so many of us seek. I think you should give it a try."
“Whatever,” I said.

Then Kevin gave me a Pamphlet with an Online Address and told me I needed to “Log On and bee part of the Future" with Fabricated intelligence. 

So I'm gonna do that.
So maybee you've probably for sure heard me mention that my Editor has Anger Management Issues, right? Well, apparently, he hasn't been going to the Meetings, so when he told me I had to show up in his Office - Or Else - I was mostly completely sure that he was going to Yell at me about something, and I was right. He did that.

Just to make a Short Story slightly Longer, I'm sure we all remember that my Editor had decided that I should bee the one to do the Daily Weather Forecasts for the Hive Newspaper (the Bee Times Gazette Journal Record...and Online News), and that to help me do a Job I never wanted, he had Purchased the Latest in Meteorological Predictive Tools - the Fully-Adjustable, Lightweight and Portable SBE X-56 MeteorMan1000 with Optional Real-Time Interactive Humidity Gauge and Breeze Detector which was, unfortunately, Lost in an Unexpected and Highly Severe Thunderstorm that Nobody saw coming, especially me. (It's the same Storm that Significantly Damaged my ShoeBox ... it was lucky that both Potato (my Certified Sensory-Impaired Emotional Support/Service LadyBug) and I were outside, enjoying the Beeautiful Weather. 

When my Editor found out that the Device had been Destroyed in the Storm, he told me that I'd have to not only pay 1/2 a Pound of Honey out of my Meagre Weekly Wages every week for the Loss of the Device (I only get 1/2-pound of Honey a Week .. that's not even enough to buy an order of Honey-Glazed Pollen Puffs and a Nectartini during Slightly Amused Hour at Lousy Louie's), but that I also have to provide the Weather Forecasts without the Benefit of the Device which, by the way, I never figured out  how to Use before it was Sucked Up and Carried Away by that Terrible Storm nobody saw coming.   

Seriously now, What the hell do I know about Predicting the Weather?  Nothing, that's What.

"Look," I told him, "I'm not a Weather Bee and I know Nothing about Predicting the Weather."
"It's Simple Meterology," he said.
"I also don't know anything about Simple Meteors," I told him, "and beesides, what do Simple Meteors have to do with any of this?" I had to know.
"No, Bee," he said. "this isn't about Meteors at all. It's about you providing this Publication Reliable, Accurate Daily Weather Forecasts for our Beeloved Subscribers - something you continue to Fail to Do."
"I really don’t want this Job," I told him. 
"Did I ask you if you wanted this Job, Bee?" he asked me.
"I don't think so," I said, beecause I actually couldn't remember how I ended up having this Job.
"No, I didn't," he said, which made me feel better about not remembering something I might have failed to Recall but didn’t.
“So here's what's going to Happen," he said. "I'm sending you to the Hive Library, where the Chief Librarian, Melodie Hausenfliffer, will Direct you to the Necessary Reference Materials relating to the Alleged Science of Meteorology, and you will remain in the Library until you learn how to do your Job."
"But I don't want the Job," I told him again.
"I wasn't asking," he said. "Now get out of my Office."
"Fine," I said, then I did that.

As you probably Guessed, I mentioned all of this to Kevin, my Illegitimate Nephew, and he said, “Uncle Georgie, I think you're the best Uncle in the World, and I love you, but you're not Thinking This Through."
"What are you talking about?" I had to know.
"You do not have to learn anything about Meteorology or Predicting the Weather, Uncle," he said.
"I don't?" I asked.
"No. Not anymore. I am delighted to Inform you that you can now use Fi to create your Forecasts for you."
"Fi? I asked. "What the hell is Fi?"
"Fabricated intelligence, Uncle - Upper Case F, Lower Case i - It is the latest in Technological Advancements that promises to make our Frequently-Tortured Existence more Bearable by dealing with the otherwise Monotonous and Routine Tasks that clutter what could bee a more Leisurely and Uncomplicated Lifestyle that so many of us seek. I think you should give it a try."
“Whatever,” I said.

Then Kevin gave me a Pamphlet with an Online Address and told me I needed to “Log On and bee part of the Future" with Fabricated intelligence. 

So I'm gonna do that. So maybee you've probably for sure heard me mention that my Editor has Anger Management Issues, right? Well, apparently, he hasn't been going to the Meetings, so when he told me I had to show up in his Office - Or Else - I was mostly completely sure that he was going to Yell at me about something, and I was right. He did that.

Just to make a Short Story slightly Longer, I'm sure we all remember that my Editor had decided that I should bee the one to do the Daily Weather Forecasts for the Hive Newspaper (the Bee Times Gazette Journal Record...and Online News), and that to help me do a Job I never wanted, he had Purchased the Latest in Meteorological Predictive Tools - the Fully-Adjustable, Lightweight and Portable SBE X-56 MeteorMan1000 with Optional Real-Time Interactive Humidity Gauge and Breeze Detector which was, unfortunately, Lost in an Unexpected and Highly Severe Thunderstorm that Nobody saw coming, especially me. (It's the same Storm that Significantly Damaged my ShoeBox ... it was lucky that both Potato (my Certified Sensory-Impaired Emotional Support/Service LadyBug) and I were outside, enjoying the Beeautiful Weather. 

When my Editor found out that the Device had been Destroyed in the Storm, he told me that I'd have to not only pay 1/2 a Pound of Honey out of my Meagre Weekly Wages every week for the Loss of the Device (I only get 1/2-pound of Honey a Week .. that's not even enough to buy an order of Honey-Glazed Pollen Puffs and a Nectartini during Slightly Amused Hour at Lousy Louie's), but that I also have to provide the Weather Forecasts without the Benefit of the Device which, by the way, I never figured out  how to Use before it was Sucked Up and Carried Away by that Terrible Storm nobody saw coming.   

Seriously now, What the hell do I know about Predicting the Weather?  Nothing, that's What.

"Look," I told him, "I'm not a Weather Bee and I know Nothing about Predicting the Weather."
"It's Simple Meterology," he said.
"I also don't know anything about Simple Meteors," I told him, "and beesides, what do Simple Meteors have to do with any of this?" I had to know.
"No, Bee," he said. "this isn't about Meteors at all. It's about you providing this Publication Reliable, Accurate Daily Weather Forecasts for our Beeloved Subscribers - something you continue to Fail to Do."
"I really don’t want this Job," I told him. 
"Did I ask you if you wanted this Job, Bee?" he asked me.
"I don't think so," I said, beecause I actually couldn't remember how I ended up having this Job.
"No, I didn't," he said, which made me feel better about not remembering something I might have failed to Recall but didn’t.
“So here's what's going to Happen," he said. "I'm sending you to the Hive Library, where the Chief Librarian, Melodie Hausenfliffer, will Direct you to the Necessary Reference Materials relating to the Alleged Science of Meteorology, and you will remain in the Library until you learn how to do your Job."
"But I don't want the Job," I told him again.
"I wasn't asking," he said. "Now get out of my Office."
"Fine," I said, then I did that.

As you probably Guessed, I mentioned all of this to Kevin, my Illegitimate Nephew, and he said, “Uncle Georgie, I think you're the best Uncle in the World, and I love you, but you're not Thinking This Through."
"What are you talking about?" I had to know.
"You do not have to learn anything about Meteorology or Predicting the Weather, Uncle," he said.
"I don't?" I asked.
"No. Not anymore. I am delighted to Inform you that you can now use Fi to create your Forecasts for you."
"Fi? I asked. "What the hell is Fi?"
"Fabricated intelligence, Uncle - Upper Case F, Lower Case i - It is the latest in Technological Advancements that promises to make our Frequently-Tortured Existence more Bearable by dealing with the otherwise Monotonous and Routine Tasks that clutter what could bee a more Leisurely and Uncomplicated Lifestyle that so many of us seek. I think you should give it a try."
“Whatever,” I said.

Then Kevin gave me a Pamphlet with an Online Address and told me I needed to “Log On and bee part of the Future" with Fabricated intelligence. 

So I'm gonna do that.