Escape from Bee Island: the Mystery - 7


Well, we’re almost halfway through this Season of “Escape from Bee Island”, and the surprises just keep coming.

You remember a couple of Episodes ago when Nigel was apparently attacked and killed by that huge herd of very hungry and rude Vorroa Mites? You remember how they never found the body? You know why? Because there was no body. Nigel wasn’t killed - he’s still very much alive, in a way.

This week, during Episode 7, he was spotted wandering around in a daze, so that means everybody has to update their Contestant Roster and Scorecard, because Nigel’s back in the Game.


From the way they tried to explain it, everybody had watched as Nigel was attacked by the Vorroa Mites, and everybody saw him disappear into what appeared to bee Oblivion, but what everybody didn’t know is that, at the last minute, he found a Conveniently-Located Entrance to an Underground Tunnel, and he burrowed his way out of the Situation. That was very clever, and mostly lucky, if you ask me.

Of course, by the time he stopped digging around in underground tunnels and popped up to see where he was, he was totally lost. Little did he know that he was on the North side of the River of Poo, not all that far from where Tang was consumed by what appears to the Screaming Banshee, and somehow, he managed to escape her Wrath.

When Umberto (Team Captain) found out he still had a Team, he was amazingly happy and excited. Then he realised that he’d hafta get across to the other side of the River of Poo (he was on the South side). He didn’t wasn’t all that excited anymore after he figured that out. The fact that he didn’t even have a boat just added to his aggravation. Still, Team Player that he is, Umberto set off toward the Banks of the River of Poo to bee Reunited with his Long Lost Not-Late Teammate, Nigel.

I dunno where he is at this point, but the last we saw of Umberto, he was trying to figure out a Sanitary Method to get across the River of Poo.

Meanwhile, Fleur had beegun to unpack all that Survival Gear, and was helping ButterCup fit into one of the SquareDown™-Resistant, Rainproof, Insulated BioHazard Suits that just happened to bee included.

“Zeez,” Fleur told ButterCup, “will protect us from ze Deadly Toxins we will surely encounter as we make our way to ze WaHaHoo Mountain.”

ButterCup slipped on her Suit and zipped it up.

“This thing is hot. And stuffy,” she said.

“Oui,” Fleur said, “but it looks good on you, mon cher.”

“You don’t think it makes my stinger look fat?” ButterCup asked.

“No, not at all,” Fleur told her. “You look exquisite.” Then she put on her Suit, and beegan assembling a very cleverly-designed, Agency-Issued, two-passenger Glide-Along Transport Device.

“Wis zis,” Fleur told ButterCup, “we shall sail over ze Vorra Mite Valley, et ze River of Poo, wizout coming to arm.”

“It looks heavy,” ButterCup commented.

“Oui, it iz, but I’m sure eet will feel less heavy, ze more you carry eet, mon cher. You will see.”

ButterCup wasn’t very delighted that she would hafta bee the one in charge of dragging the Transport Device, but at least she was starting to feel like there might bee a chance she could get out of this Ordeal alive. At least, that’s what she said.

As for Boris and Jasmine, the Surviving Contestants on Team A - they were still arguing over who would possess the Amazingly Powerful Jewel of Questionable Destiny after they overcame the Devastating Defences of the Screaming Banshee, something they were also arguing about and getting nowhere with, beecause neither one of them were sure at all what kind of Devastating Defences the Screaming Banshee would throw at them. The speculations flying around were getting ridiculous.

Seriously now. I’m sure they’ll find out what those Devastating Defences are when they find out what they are. Until then, why argue about it?

They really need to find a Mediator or something. Maybee Clive Beexter (Host and Island Master) needs to step in on this one. Quite frankly, with only six Episodes left in the Season, they’re starting to run out of time.

So the Episode ended, and we started talking about what had just happened. Great Grandma Gee Gee was very happy that ButterCup might bee able to survive, maybee even Win this thing.

“My stars, I’ve just been so very worried about the poor thing,” she said. “I’m so glad that Fleur planned ahead.”

“Of course she planned ahead,” Kevin (my Illegitimate Nephew) said. “We’re speaking of Fleur. Have you ever known Fleur not to bee completely prepared to deal with any contigency she might encounter in her environment? Do you?”

I think we all remember that Kevin has always had a Huge Crush on Fleur de Bee, so it wasn’t a big surprise that he was sounding defensive. It seemed to me that he was getting a little Huffy, and started beeing a bit more than Argumentative about the whole thing, so I decided to plug Bert back in, and I left.

And that’s what happened this week.

Check in again next week, and I’ll let you know what happens in Episode 8. Until then…

Let’s all bee Highly Careful out there!

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