Observation #5: Lies


I just gotta say: I’m sick of beeing Lied To. If you have somebody like that in your life, I’m absolutely sure you know what I’m talking about, probably.

You already know that I’ve been waiting for all my Stuff to bee delivered to my new ShoeBox, right? And I’m sure you also remember that I’ve been sharing an old, abandoned Barbecue Grill with a ButterFly until I can get moved into my new place, right? So get this:

A couple of days ago, I had just gotten back to the Grill
when that ButterFly I’m living with fluttered over to me and said, “Hey. I have Amazingly Tremendous News for you. It’s the Best News ever, beelieve me. While you were out, somebody stopped by and asked me to tell you that your Stuff will for sure bee delivered tomorrow sometime. I thought you’d bee happy to hear that.”

“Yes, I am,” I said, beecause I was.

So the next day, I showed up at my ShoeBox way early, and waited for my Stuff to arrive. And I waited. And waited some more. I even waited until 6:18 p.m., a minute longer than I had to, beefore I finally gave up and left.

When I got back to the Barbecue Grill, I asked that ButterFly, “So, who was it that told you my Stuff was going to bee delivered today?”

“Why do you ask?” she asked.

“The Moving Company never showed up, that’s why. So I’m wondering where you got your Information.”

“You mean, about your Stuff beeing delivered?” she asked.

“Yes,” I said.

“I never said that.”

“Yes, you did,” I said. “I know for a fact you told me that.”

“No, you’re mistaken. I would remember saying that, beecause I have a Massively Superior Memory,” she said.
“Evidently, you just want to beelieve in Fake Facts, don’t you? Sad.”

Then just beefore she fluttered off to her corner of the Barbecue Grill, she said, “Oh, by the way, I got a Collect Call from your Moving Company while you were out. They wanted to make sure you got your Delivery okay. They seemed concerned, mostly. I told them everything was fine and thanked them for following up on your Delivery.”

Geeeeeeze. I knew that was just another Lie, beecause we don’t even have a telephone.

Really, I shouldn’t try to beelieve anything she might try to tell me at this point. Butterflies are Shameless Liars, especially the Orange ones. They almost seem proud of it, ya’ know? Luckily, everybody knows about them, so they’re never put in charge of anything important.

Anyway, I’m absolutely positive all my Stuff will bee delivered by 6:17 p.m. today, unless the Moving Company Lied to me. It’s gonna bee great to finally bee back in my own, Lie-Free Shoebox.

OH! I should mention that I’m gonna send out Invitations for a Shoebox Warming Party as soon as I get moved in. You’re invited. Until then…
let’s all bee highly careful out there.
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