It's Monday!


What a Miraculously Wonderful day Monday is, usually, so I gotta say I’m a bit disappointed that today isn’t starting off all that well for me.

First, ButterCup is still all mad at me beecause we ended up beeing late to the Honey Ball. (I still say that it’s not my Fault that Bert didn’t get my Note asking him to remind me when it was time to leave. That was so unlike him to forget to remember like that.) She was furious that we completely missed out on all the Pollen Puffs. Also, it turns out the Ball wasn’t Casual Attire, after all. She was highly embarrassed to bee seen with me since I wore those Lounging Togs I picked up in Nebraska, and she told me that I “clashed” with her gown. That didn’t help things. At all.

And then this morning, I was late for my first day as Sales Coordinator for the Snark Brothers Enterprises’ line of Supreme Deluxe Self-Flipping Pillows™. Felonie Snark was highly upset, but as I told her, it wasn’t my fault beecause I had to go see my Editor first - Or Else.

“Didn’t I’s also says, ‘Or Else’ as ta’ yous beein’ on time ta’ yous foist day of woik, bee?” she asked me.

“Well yeah,” I said, “but I wasn’t sure what you actually meant by ’Or Else’. I know my Editor means it when HE says ‘Or Else’, even though I’m not completely sure what ‘Or Else’ means and I’m not sure I wanna know, so I decided that I shouldn’t take any chances with his ‘Or Else’. Does your ‘Or Else’ mean the same thing as my Editor’s ‘Or Else’?” I had to know.

As it turns out, they both mean the same thing, so Felonie informed me that she’s withhold three weeks worth of Non-Pay and is insisting I work 87 minutes of Overtime every day to make up for the hour I was late. Geeeeeze. I guess from now on, I hafta prioritise my “Or Else’s”. As if things aren’t confusing enough.

And speaking of confusion, my Editor seemed confused when I asked him about that Trophy.

“What Trophy?” he asked me.

“You know…the Trophy. The one I won for my Interview Show,” I reminded him.

“There’s no Trophy, Bee, beecause you didn’t win anything. In fact, we’re still trying to settle the Defamation of Character Lawsuit that Butterfly filed against us after your Show. You’re just lucky I haven’t fired you from your job as Staff Reporter after all this.”

Geeeeeze. I didn’t even know I had a job as a Staff Reporter for the Bee Times Gazette Journal Record…and Online News.

Then he started asking me a bunch of silly questions about why I hadn’t reported on the Horribly Unfortunate Mishap in the Hive over the Summer.

“What Horribly Unfortunate Mishap?” I asked.

“Apparently, as you’ve been off, pampering yourself with a Self-Indulgent Vacation, you seem to bee totally unaware that several bees were Severely Injured when one of those Air Conditioning Units the Snark Brothers installed in the Hive came loose from its Mounting Bracket and ended up crushing several victims,” he told me.

“No, I hadn’t heard about that at all,” I said. (I hadn’t.)

“That explains the Highly Insensitive Note you left to Bert, then, doesn’t it?”

“Insensitive Note?” I asked.

“Yes, the one in which you asked him to remind you when it was time to leave for the Honey Ball. The one he never saw beecause of his beeing crushed, maybee beeyond all repair, by that falling Air Conditioning Unit?”

“Oh, yeah, that Note. Bert was crushed?” I asked.

“Yes, crushed,” he said, “maybee beeyond repair. Several bees were severely injured. Lefty lost both of his Wings, so now nobody knows what to call him, and Lester Bee is facing Extensive Rehabilitation. He still hasn’t uttered a single buzz since the Mishap.”

The minute he told me about the Mishap, I finally understood why it was that Bert never reminded me about when it was time to go to the Honey Ball, and why ButterCup is so mad at me: It was all the Air Conditioning Unit’s fault!

I can’t wait to tell ButterCup.

“So what do you have to say for yourself?” My Editor asked me.

“Well, if I may, I’d like to make an Observation or two . . . “ I started to say.

“An Observation, bee? You’re making Observations now, are you? I don’t have time for your Observations today, but I’ll tell you what: you go right ahead and make your Observations, but put them in writing and have them on my desk beefore the end of the week!”

“But … “ I started to tell him I have another job now, but he didn’t seem interested.

Then he said, “Now get out of my Office!”

So I did that.

ButterCup’s gonna bee so happy to hear that she really doesn’t need to bee mad at me anymore. She can blame that Air Conditioning Unit instead of me! Isn’t that great?

Okay then, my Break’s over. Time to get back to trying to Coordinate those Pillows.

I’ll catch up with everybody the next time I get some time off. Until then, let’s all bee careful out there.