Welcome to the New Cool Season!


SO, another Hot Season has Come and Gone, and here we are at the beeginning of a new Cool Season! Time passes highly quickly, doesn’t it? It seems like only yesterday that it was still the Hot Season.

Well, tonight’s the night. In just a few, short hours, the Annual End of the Hot Season Honey Ball will beegin.

I hafta say that I feel amazingly lucky that I managed to get Tickets to this thing. When I showed up at the Hive Ticket Office, they asked me to provide Proof of Identity and Residence (evidently, bees from other Hives have been trying to sneak in so they could monopolise all the Pollen Puffs, so Hive Security had to step in and take charge). Of course, I left all my Papers in my Boot Box. When I finally remembered where I put those and got back to the Ticket Office, there was a “NO MORE HONEY BALL TICKETS AVAILABLE” sign hanging on the door, and they were closed.

There’s no way that ButterCup would have forgiven me for messing up on the Tickets, but lucky for me, as I sat in front of the Ticket Office Door trying to figure out what do about this whole thing, Felonie Snark (my Illegitimate Nephew, Kevin’s, Formerly Estranged Sister) just happened to buzz by.

“Yous looks discouraged, bee,” she said. “What’s da’ sad face all abouts?” (I couldn’t help but notice that Felonie is starting to sound more and more like her Alleged Father, Narville, and Uncle Chaz the longer she hangs out with those guys.)

To make a long story short, I explained my dilemma to her, then she said, “Then it’s lucky for yous I jus’ happened ta’ bee passing by. It jus’ so happens that I can procures two Tickets for yous - for a price, of course.”

Now, I think we all know already that Honey Ball Tickets are FREE this year, thanks to Queen Jemima’s “Hive Morale” Initiative which, among other things, provides free Event Tickets for every Event to every bee in the Hive, along with a six-week Membership to Bendy Hallowayover’s “Bee Fit” Fitness Spa and Salad Bar, and some Discount Coupons for Bees ‘R Us. So, I really didn’t understand why I should hafta pay Felonie for anything, but she told me that if I didn’t agree to her Terms, she wouldn’t give me the Tickets.

“So how much?” I asked her. “How much Honey do you want?”

“Oh, I doesn’t wants Honey, bee” she said. “What I needs, what I means ta say is, what da’ Company needs at dis particular-like juncture is …well, let’s jus’ calls it a Sales Coordinator, for lacks of a better toim. I hears yous gots some experience in dat field, so if yous wants dese Tickets, yous gotta come woiks for us. Or Else.”

How could I say no? Also, I gotta say that I felt highly flattered that Felonie was familiar with my fairly impressive background in Sales. I think it’s fair to say that I probably still hold the Sales Record for Door-to-Door Door Sales. I’m also pretty sure that Lawsuit involving those Paper Spoons has been dropped, so as far as I know, I have a clean Employment Record. Probably.

Anyway, I needed the Tickets, so I told her I’d do that.

“But can I ask what kind of Sales I’m gonna Coordinate?”
I asked.

“I supposes dat’s not a unreasonable request,” she said. “Sure. YOUS is now da Official Sales Coordinator for da’ Snark Brudders Enterprise’s newest Product, da’ latest in Sleep Comfort: da Supreme Deluxe Self-Flipping Pillow™.”

Seriously now, who doesn’t want and need a Self-Flipping Pillow™, especially a Supreme Deluxe one? I’d say just about everybody.

I start on Monday. Unfortunately though, I already know I’m gonna bee late on my First Day, beecause my Editor says he wants to see me. (Maybee that Personalised Monogrammed Trophy for my probably winning the Best Non-Broadcast Semi-Fictional Mostly Live Interview Show, Four Minutes or Less, finally arrived. I dunno why he couldn’t have just had that delivered or something, ya’ know?)

Anyway, I gotta get ready to take ButterCup to the Honey Ball. I’ll bee picking her up early for that, since she made it Very Clear that she doesn’t wanna miss out on the Pre-Reception supply of Pollen Puffs this year, so I’m gonna make sure we’ll definitely bee on time, mostly. (“How?” you ask? I’ll tell you: Just to bee on the safe side, I’m gonna leave a Note for Bert, Kevin’s Artificially-Intelligent Robot Bee, and ask him to remind me to leave on time, that’s how.)

I can always depend on Bert, even though I haven’t seen him around since I got back. He’s probably off getting a Software Update or something. I just need to make sure I remember to write him that Note.

So I’m gonna go do that right now while I’m still remembering not to forget.

I’ll catch up with ya sometime after the Honey Ball, then!
Until then, let’s all bee careful out there.