So, I had to waste my whole Monday Morning sitting in my Editor’s Office (who how calls himself my “Producer”), listening to him go on and on about what a disaster my first Interview Show was.

We’re taking a quick Lunch Break, then I hafta go back to his Office and waste the rest of this otherwise Better-Than-Most Monday. Geeeeeeeze. Even more aggravating is that it’s a Perfect Day out, and I had planned to spend this afternoon working on my tan.

When I walked in this morning, my Editor…er…Producer just looked at me, and in a Highly Sarcastic Tone said, “Do you realise,” he said, “that you got a 0.000000087% Market Share from your first Broadcast?”

“That’s good, right?” I figured since it wasn’t all 0’s, so that meant SOMEBODY SOMEWHERE was watching, right?

“No,” he said, “that is not good. In fact, it’s horrible. Why do you think pretty much everybody DIDN’T watch your Show, bee?”

“Beecause,” I had guess, “my Show was on in the middle of the night when everybody was asleep? And beecause most of my audience don’t own TV’s?”

“You’d love to blame Station Management, wouldn’t you?” he just kept buzzing at me as he pounded his wing on his Desk.

“NO. It’s beecause your first Interview Guest did not show up. You failed to get her to appear on your Show.”

“Well yeah she did show up,” I attempted to correct him, “she just wouldn’t let anybody see her, that’s all. But I’m almost 100% completely sure that’s why they’re called Brown Recluse Spi…,” but he interrupted me.

“No, more excuses, bee. I’m giving you one more chance. That’s it. If your guest this week doesn’t appear on camera, I’ll bee cancelling your Show, and we’ll just broadcast back-to-back Episodes of those Pharmacetical Mini-Dramas everybody finds so entertaining and informative.”

“But…” I started to say.

“Nobody wants that. Probably. So this afternoon - and for as long as it takes - you will bee HERE, meeting with your Production Team in THIS OFFICE and providing us with your assurances that we do not find ourselves having to rely on Pharmaceuticals. Am I CLEAR?”

I told him that beeyond any shadow of any doubt, I completely and fully understood most of what he seemed to want me to do, probably, but reminded him that this week’s Scheduled Guest is a Field Cricket, and they mostly also don’t like to bee seen in public. Especially on TV.

“Not my problem, bee,” he said. “That’s YOUR problem. And YOU will SOLVE IT.”

Then he told me to get out of his Office and bee BACK to meet with my Production Team by Noon - Or Else.

So I hafta do that.

Geeeeeeeze. I’ve just been kinda sitting here since then, thinking about getting ready to go to lunch and trying to figure out how to get a Cricket to appear on Camera. This isn’t gonna bee easy, ya' know?

By the way, what time is it?

Oh geeeeeeeeze. I gotta’ go.

Bee sure to tune in to my new Show on Thursday!

Until then . . . let’s all bee careful out there!