“Could you bring me some Nectar? I’m highly Thirsty,” I asked her yesterday.
“I’ll bee with you in a Moment,” she said.
I still haven’t gotten any Nectar.

Two days ago, I asked her, “I’m dangerously hungry. Can I have some Honey?”
“I don’t know,” she said, “CAN you?”
So I said, “MAY I have some Honey?”
And she said, “That’s better. I’ll bee with you in a Moment.”
I also haven’t gotten any Honey. I’m starving.

Geeeeeeeze. How did she even get this job?

I gotta’ get outta here, but I’m stuck, and the only thing I can do is to lie here and keep watching that Intensive Personal Anti-Disorganisation and Inter-Bee Sensitivity Mostly-Live Streaming Seminar. I’m on Hour 29, Part 54, Section 8, Part 17, Chapter 2, Sub-Section Bee - and it’s not getting even slightly more Interesting. I’m not sure if I have it in me to finish the 3 hours and 33 parts left in this thing. It’s incredibly Boring…not that there’s anything else to do while I’m just lying here. There isn’t.

Seriously now, I gotta get outta here. These bandages are itching like crazy, and beesides beeing Hungry and Thirsty, I really need to go to the Bathroom in a Big Way. And for what it’s worth, I’m more than Completely Sure that I’m Thoroughly Healed Up after that Highly Unpleasant Or Else-ing I got from the Snark Brothers, mostly. I should bee able to leave now.

I wonder if Orderly Beeson might consider helping me out here. Maybee he could help me get in touch with my lawyer, S.O.Bee, and maybee he could help me get the hell outta here already. At this point, I’m pretty sure my Rights are beeing Violated and is that Acceptable? No, it isn’t.

I’m pretty sure his shift starts sometime on Saturday, so I guess I’ll just hafta’ wait.

So I’m gonna do that.

Let’s all bee highly careful out there.

Well, I guess going to Narville Snark with some Advice was a Highly Bad Idea. Narville didn’t Respond Well at all to my Suggestions. I won’t get into the Details (which I don’t remember Completely Clearly, mostly), but I will say that Nobody Or Else’s anybody as thoroughly as the Snark Brothers.

I don’t like beeing Or Elsed. It hurts. A lot.

So now, I’m stuck in the Hive Clinic and hafta put up with Nurse Beeatrice. Luckily, Orderly Beeson is still here, so he was kind enough to sneak in my Device, so at least I can still Communicate with the Outside World, mostly. But I have to bee very Careful - if Nurse Beeatrice finds this thing on me, she’ll for sure Confiscate it.

I just asked her if I could ask somebody to bring me a Comic Book or something, but she just said, “No Visitors - and No Talking, bee.” Then she also told me to stop asking her about anything, and that the sooner I stopped Distracting her, the sooner I’d get outta here. (That’s really a problem, beecause I was just about to ask her where the Bathroom is. I can tell this is gonna get Highly Uncomfortable.)

Ph.Bee, the Hive Doctor, came in on his way to get another Flask of Morning Nectar, and noticed me lying here. He said that I’m in Serious But Marginally Stable Condition, and that if I just bee Quiet and Cooperate, they should have me outta here in 87 Days, maybee sooner. (“It depends on your attitude, bee,” he said. “The sooner you know not to put demands on the Nursing Staff, the sooner this will bee over,” he said. I hafta say - Ph.Bee doesn’t have the greatest Bedside Manner I’ve ever run into.)

Geeeeze. Whoever the hell tells you that beeing in this Clinic is a Healing Experience is lying to you.

Anyway, I just texted ButterCup and told her where I am. “Oh good!” she said. “We’ll make sure you’re enrolled in the Live, Secure Online Video Stream of that Intensive Personal Anti-Disorganisation and Inter-Bee Sensitivity Seminar! By the time you get out of there, you’ll have finished all 32 hours of the Programme, and you’ll hopefully bee able to walk out of there, probably, with an Official, Framed Certificate that says you’re a more Sensitive and Organised Bee,” she told me. (She and Fleur de Bee seem to want me to attend that thing for some reason, so I guess I don’t have a choice anymore.)

“Fine,” I said.

So that’s what I’m gonna bee doing for awhile.

I hope everybody is Highly Careful out there.

Oh, so there you are. I was wondering where you went. I hope everything’s okay, and if it isn’t, I hope you realise it’s not my fault. I’m just a bee, so it’s not like I have a bunch of control over everything, right?

I’m incredibly glad it’s Monday.
I just love Mondays, don’t you? I thought so.

In a little while, right after I finish just sitting here enjoying the Day So Far, and beefore I start making more Sales Calls for those Marginally Deluxe Murder Hornet Swatters, I’ve decided to take one my Human Beep’s Advice, and pay a Brief and - I’m completely sure Productive - Surprise Visit to my Boss, Narville Snark. The more I sit here and think about it, the more I think she’s Completely Right when she says that he should bee Advertising these things. I mean seriously now...how the hell can I bee expected to sell something that nobody’s ever heard of, for crying out loud?

I can’t, that’s how.

As a matter of fact, I’m gonna buzz over there right now, and tell him that he needs to help me out here. I’m gonna tell him that he needs to start putting his Honey where his Mouthparts are, and start investing in some Creative, Effective, and at least Partially-Honest Advertising, or I just might hafta find myself another Job.
And That is That. I’m completely sure Narville will bee Fair-Minded about this whole thing, and, beeing the Ruthless Entrepreneur he is, he’ll definitely appreciate my Initiative, probably.

So I’m gonna go do that.

Let’s all bee Highly Careful out there!

Yeah, so I had to go back to Narville Snark’s Office the other day to deliver my first Sales Report for those Asian Hornet Swatters (you know, those things you can use to swat Asian Hornets). I proudly gave him my first Sales Sheet, but he didn’t seem Overly Pleased for some reason.

“Bee,” he said.

“Yes, I am,” I said.

“Don’t gets cute wit me, Bee. Deese numbers ain’t lookin’ dat great, and dat’s puttin tings mildly-like. I’s Deeply Disappointed in yous Job Puhformance, Bee. Dis won’t do.”

“But I did sell three Swatters,” I told him. “I sold two to the Hive, and one to my Great Grandma Gee Gee, beecause she felt sorry for me, so...”

“So... tree Swatters ain’t enough. Dat means we’s gots ourselves a Serious Problem. Yous was supposed ta sell more dan tree of dose tings. As I tolds yous beefore, dat won’t do. I don’t tink dis Arrangement is Woiking Out.”

Then he started reaching his Wing into his Inside Jacket Pocket, where there was a large Bee-Bee Gun-Shaped Bulge - and we all know what that means. I had to think Highly Fast beefore I got Or Elsed, so I said, “If I may,”.

“If yous may what, bee?” he said.

I wasn’t exactly sure what I was gonna May What, but I knew I didn’t wanna get shot with a Bee-Bee Gun. That would hurt. A lot. After a few seconds of pulling on my Antennae for Inspiration, and stalling for time, I thought of something.

“It’s a problem with Image,” I told him. “Our Would-Bee Customers don’t feel Inspired to buy these Questionably Fine Swatters, beecause they don’t feel all that threatened by something called an ‘Asian Hornet’. When you hear ‘Asian Hornet’, do you feel like you need a Swatter?”

Narville just stared at me and didn’t say anything, so I said, “Neither do I.”

“So, whats does yous suggest, Bee? And dis bettah bee good,” he said.

“I think we should rename your Dubiously Fine Product. We should call it the ‘Marginally Deluxe Murder Hornet Swatter’ - beecause that’s another name for them - ‘Murder Hornets’,” I said. “Who wouldn’t want to have a Marginally Deluxe Murder Hornet Swatter close by when you need one? I would think most everybody would need to buy several of these, probably.”

Then I just stood there, waiting for him to say something.

He didn’t say anything for what seemed a very long time, but just kept staring at me. Then he got a not-all-that-Comforting Smile of his on his face (you know the one), and finally said, “Moider Hornet Swatter? Moider Hornet...Moider Hornet...yeah, I likes dat, bee. I thinks yous is onto sometin.”

Wow did I feel Relieved, especially when Narville pulled his Wing out of his Jacket at pointed it at me (I was amazingly glad it wasn’t holding any sort of Weapon or anything).

“Okay, bee. Yous’s got one, more chance at dis, and da next Sales Report bettah bee good, or...”

“Or Else?” I interrupted him.

“It’s good dat wes understands one anudder,” he said.
“I’ll sees yous back here in One Week, and dese Sales Numbuhs bettah bee bettah.”

Then he said, “Now get outta my Office.”

So I did that. (That guy scares the hell out of me.)

I was glad that Meeting went so well, and felt Highly Relieved that Narville Snark let me leave without tying my Antennae in Knots (or something worse). I was also glad that the Meeting didn’t take long, beecause that gave me more time to grab some Lunch, and make it in plenty of time for the first Session of that Intensive Personal Anti-Disorganisation and Inter-Bee Sensitivity Seminar ButterCup and Fleur signed me up for. There was absolutely, positively no way I wanted to bee late for that, mostly.

As it turns out, though, I didn’t quite make it to the first Session, beecause I decided that I’d grab something to eat at Lousy Louie’s. I was really Hungry and, as I think everybody knows, Louie makes the best Pollen Burgers anywhere around here. I figured I could eat, then try out my new Sales Pitch to anybody that was there.

When I got to Lousy Louie’s, the place was packed, but I managed to get a Table, then start trying out my new Sales Pitch. Of course, I didn’t sell any Swatters, but my Potential Customers kept buying me Nectartinis to enjoy with my Lunch (“it’s the least we can do, just beecause you seem to bee trying so hard,” they said). After all that, it was everything I could do to just get back home to my ShoeBox and go to sleep, which I did. That Lunch made me feel Highly Tired for some reason. I was way too tired to make it to any Intensive Personal Anti-Disorganisation and Inter-Bee Sensitivity Seminar, as much as I was looking forward to that. Mostly.

So today, I hafta’ go find out when the next Session is, and make sure I remember not to forget to remind myself to write that on my Calendar, which I need to go find.

So I’m gonna go do that.

Let’s all bee highly careful out there!

I worry about Zambeezi sometimes.

Anyway, I know everybody’s Highly Curious about how my New Job selling Asian Hornet Swatters to the Hive is going. I’ll tell you: It isn’t.

For the last week or so, I’ve been thoroughly mostly dedicating my Every Waking Hour to selling those things. So far, I’ve sold two. As it turns out, and as I was informed by Mayor Billy Bee, the Hive only needs ONE Asian Hornet Swatter.

“It seems as if your Dubiously Fine Product may prove useful at some point, but we’d need only one, which we’d place strategically at the Entrance to the Hive. So. We’ll take one.”

I knew my boss, Narville Snark, would not bee One Bit Pleased, so I told the Mayor that I’d buy him a Free Nectartini at Lousy Louie’s, so we did that. After we’d had about three of those things, and after I kept going on and on about the Genuine Threat those Asian Hornets pose to the Health and Well-Beeing of the Hive, he finally said, “Jjjjjeaahh, oHkay. We’ll take TWO. We can put the other one at the Back Entrance.” Then he started to sing and laugh uncontrollably. After he threw up I had to take him home.

I worry about Mayor Billy Bee sometimes.

I’m also Massively Worried about how Narville Snark is going to Respond to my Initial Sales Report, which is due tomorrow. I just remember what he did to that guy who was selling Stinger Pluckers for him a few years ago. That wasn’t pretty.

Oh. And I beefore I go do something else beesides this, I should probably tell you that ButterCup and Fleur de Bee (who just got here last week, apparently) are all mad at me. They’re all upset that somehow, I forgot to remind myself to remember to deal with setting up Accommodations for Fleur after she arrived in that Diplomatic Pouch from Paris (she’s here, trying to Recuperate from that Unfortunate Mishap with the Pop Bottle on the French Commuter Train). They say I need to attend an Intensive Personal Anti-Disorganisation and Inter-Bee Sensitivity Seminar - and seek Long-Term One-on-One Therapy. Geeeeeze. I think they’re over-reacting, but I’m sure it’s beecause Fleur’s Thinking is still Highly Confused, and ButterCup just won’t let that whole Misunderstanding about her Birthday go. Seriously now.

I worry about those two sometimes.

I need to stop worrying so much and start selling more Asian Hornet Swatters - Or Else. I think I hafta get back over to Lousy Louie’s, get my Swatter Sample back from their Lost & Found, strap it on (that’s thing’s amazingly heavy), and start Hitting the Pavement.

So I’m gonna go do that.

Let’s all bee Highly Careful out there!